a beautiful lie (continued/ original by winternightz)

A Steamy Shower

My eyes flutter open. I feel something in my lap. Its Tom. I rub my eyes and watch as he begins to wake up. His beautiful chestnut eyes look into my eyes, his delicate pink lips form a smile. He pushes himself off the floor and plants a kiss onto my lips.
I have no clue how long we slept.
"Oh sweet girl" Tom strokes my throbbing cheek
"Let me clean you up." He puts out a hand and lifts me off the floor, we walk to the shower room and he undresses, I do the same.
We get in the warm shower and Tom wets his hand before gently washing the dried blood from my face. I cringe as he wipes my inflamed cheek.

I watch as he picks the coconut body wash up from the shower seat. He squirts a bit on his hand and rubs it on my wounded body. He takes the shampoo from the seat and gently massages it into my scalp. He grabs the conditioner and combs it to the ends of my hair with his fingers. He washes himself with his shit mens products, he pulls me into a warm hug, his muscly arms holding me close to his hard chest. His heart thumps into my ear as I ease into his embrace, my thoughts slow and my mind becomes foggy.
He pulls away from the hug to wash the products out of my hair, he shields my eyes with his free hand, I feel him softly wipe the bubbly shampoo from my hair.

He removes his hand from my eyes and presses soft kisses onto my forehead. I tilt my head up and slowly lean towards his lips as the tension between us builds. My lust for him grows as I edge my way to his smooth lips. I bring him into a slow kiss, he bites my bottom lip as I pull back slightly. He reaches a hand to the back of my head and slightly pushes my face forward to bring me back to meet his lips. The kiss deepens as his free hand snakes down my back to my ass. He fondles my ass while he sticks his tongue into my mouth, he explores every inch of  my mouth before he sits onto the shower seat. He pulls me forward and lifts me up to straddle him. I pull back to catch my breath as he massages my thighs, I lean back in and hold his face as I indulge myself in the passionate kiss. Butterflies form in my stomach as he moves my hips forward and backward on his wet naked body, his hard cock presses against my vagina. He lifts me up slightly and gently slides the tip into my entrance, I gasp as he edges me on. I push myself down in an attempt to get him inside me but he lifts me back up and continues to toy with me, I moan into his mouth and pull away from him

"Please" My voice is quiet
"Please what?" He teases
"Please, give it to me" I beg as he stares into my eyes greedily
"Good girl." he sucks on my neck as he slowly pushes my body down, his thick cock sliding inside of me. I lean my head back in pleasure and moan as he fully inserts himself. He keeps me still for a while so I can adjust, then he carefully moves me up and down, my legs tremble as his dick hits my g spot with each thrust. He trails kisses up my neck until he comes to my lips, he brings me into a sloppy kiss as he controls the movement of my body. My eyes roll back with every rise and fall, God i've been craving him, my breathing quickens as he speeds up the pace. My body heats up as Tom slams me down, my climax nears, I let out a breathy sigh as he fastens the pace even more, I squeeze my eyes shut.
"Oh Tom!" I huff, he harshly breathes in at the sound of his name being moaned. I hold my breath as I reach my climax, I collapse into the crook of his neck and gasp for air.

Tom gently lifts me back off his cock and holds me bridal style, he switches the shower off then wraps himself and me in a towel. He picks me up again and carries me back to our room, he lays me on the messy bed and walks to the wardrobe to grab us clothes, he dresses himself and slips fresh clothes onto my damp, limp body. He lays next to me and takes a while to re gain his breath.

As we lay in silence, I cant help but feel disgusted. I just fucked that man. I submitted to that piece of shit and let him fuck me. Im so confused. I don't know whether to love or hate him. I don't know whether to feel pleased or repulsed. Why? Thats all I can ask myself. Why? Why do I do this? Why am I so addicted to his touch? Why do I forgive him? Just why?

I think of the girls, and how upset they'd be if they knew about everything that happened, to find out I've gone back to Tom. They'd probably hold me in their arms and tell me that he doesn't deserve me. They'd tell me to run, run far far away and take back my freedom. God they'd be so disappointed.
I miss them all so much. A part of me died with them that night. A piece of my heart ripped out the moment their beautiful heads hit the floor. I remember the sound of the bullets that tore them away from me. I remember feeling the warmth from their bodies drift away as they lay there, bleeding out on the cold hard floor. My poor girls.

Sometimes I wish it was me and not them. I wish it was me who had my brains blown out the back of my head. I wish it was me who was left bleeding out on the tarmac. I wish it was me who was left as nothing but a memory. Because if anyone deserved it, its me. And to think that they were so willing to be murdered to save me is devastating.