a beautiful lie (continued/ original by winternightz)

Shit Shit Shit

Im left on my own to be consumed by my thoughts, all I can do is panic. I have just been kissed by Toms brother. And if Tom finds out were both dead. I didn't want to kiss him though, I didn't make the first move, I didn't initiate the kiss. Im just praying no one ever finds out.

Footsteps storm down the hall, they're heavy and slow. Its Tom. I hold my breath as I hear the door open then close once again.
He sighs as he stands in the doorway, arms crossed. Tension thickens the air as he strides over to me.
He swallows hard before sitting next to me
"Look. I didn't mean to storm out like that, but I felt something bad coming." I breath hard as I sigh in relief, he didn't notice.
"Its okay, Im glad you left instead of... you know." I pat his knee in the hopes of distracting him.
"Ive calmed down now though." He turns his head to face in my direction and he gives me a sweet smile, my stomach churns. I feel so guilty. I might have to own up.

"Lets just stay here tonight, hm?" He climbs into bed and holds me in his strong arms, my breathing slows as I finally relax, however I don't expect to be relaxed for long because something is telling me he will find out either way. You cant get anything past Tom. Anything.
"Okay baby." I plant a hesitant kiss on his warm cheek and melt into him, the smell of his cologne is wearing off. 

"Why don't we change the movie? This ones boring now." Tom snatches up the remote from the bed and flicks through Netflix, he picks another horror movie, great. He huffs as he lays back into the many pillows and pulls me down with him. He strokes my forearm as the movie progresses, but I cant concentrate. All I can think about is the fact that Ive just been kissed by his twin brother, I mean how does someone even get into that situation. I grow nauseous as I think about how he might react if he found out, he'd probably take me somewhere and shoot me dead just as he did to Yumi. He'd probably beat me until I couldn't move then leave me somewhere to slowly decompose. He'd probably slit my wrists again but not save me this time. And God I don't want to imagine about what he'd to to Bill. He'd do something completely deranged. Probably go on another fucking mass shooting.

My eyes well with tears as my stomach squirms at the thought of being brutally murdered alongside Bill. I cant hold my emotions back.
Sorrowful tears stream down my beaten face as I sob uncontrollably over my mistake, my shoulders begin trembling with the force of my emotions. I shove my face into Toms chest as tears of guilt fall like a shower as I bawl. I weep into his chest and I let out a strangled scream. 

"Taylor? Whats wrong baby?" Tom puts his hand on the back of my head and cradles me like a baby. I cant speak, Im afraid that Ill fuck up and admit to my mistake. A lump forms in my throat as I open my mouth in an attempt to force some words out, however all I can do is utter wailing sounds. My chest feels empty as I struggle to breath, the back of my head pounds as hot tears continue streaming down my face. The salty tears sting the gashes on my marked face.

"Hey, hey, shh shh. Its okay love Im here" Tom says in a comforting whisper. Im so ashamed. Regret torments me as I try to stop the tears, how could I do such a thing? How could I? I choke on the air as I open my mouth to try and re gain steady breathing, my body shakes as I crumble into pieces in Toms arms.
"Scared!" Is all I can muster up, and its true. Im fucking terrified.
"Of the movie?" He questions, I franticly shake my head no, Im not that much of a pussy.
"Of what then?" He takes a moment to try and grasp the situation, "Of me?" He sounds so broken. I look up to him to meet his eyes, he tears up as I don't respond.
"Oh Taylor." He drops his head in guilt, as he continues to rub my arm
"My poor girl." He sniffles under his breath.

We lay still with our foreheads pressed together, our tears mixing on my now soaked chest. My eyes burn as I rub them in an attempt to stop myself from crying, the stream of tears slow as I yawn, Im exhausted. But not just because I've been crying. Im tired of feeling so frightened all the time. Im tired of being hit and kicked. Im tired of dealing with Toms emotions. Im tired of life.

My breathing comes to a steady pace as my eyelids grow heavy, Tom lays back and moves my head to lay back onto his chest. As I slowly drift off Tom strokes my matted hair and holds me tighter.
I cant believe I got away with that. But how long will it be before someone slips up and tells Tom the truth? What if Bill cracks and feels the need to be faithful to his brother. As I fall into sleep panic storms my mind.

Then nothing. Peace.