a beautiful lie (continued/ original by winternightz)

I Cant Help But Love You

"Tom?" As he's about to send another punch to my face he hesitates
"Tom, please stop" I look up at him, face busted and bleeding, my eyes water and sting as I plead for a break from being beaten. Its heartbreaking.
"Please" My world crumbles, it feels like the walls are caving in on me. Each punch destroying my heart little by little.

"Tom" My voice trembles as my whole body shakes, I give up my fight. My face burns and my limbs are weak. He drops his hand and unclenches his fist. I stare at him directly in the eyes, his face softens. His raised eyebrows drop. His snarl fades. And the sadistic look in his eyes disappear. 

"I-" His voice is quiet, "I didn't mean to" I don't even want to answer back. What if he beats me again?
"Oh Taylor." A single tear rolls down his face
"Taylor" He drops to the floor next to me and scoops me up
"Im sorry" he cradles me in his arms like a baby
"Im sorry." his tears splash onto my face
"Im sorry" he kisses my head
"Im so sorry Taylor" he's bawling now
"Its-" I hesitate "Its okay" my heart breaks
"Taylor?" I feel my consciousness slipping
"Taylor, I love you"   What?

"Keep your eyes open" he strokes my face
"Keep your beautiful eyes open for me" I look up at him
"Good girl" he kisses my lips
"Tom?" He nods "Why do you treat me like this?" I whisper. He cries harder.
"Do you really think I deserve it?" My eyes fill with tears as I await an answer
"No.." he says under his breath "No, no baby, you don't deserve it." he mumbles "You never did. You didn't deserve it all those years ago. And you don't now" he mutters
"You never will deserve it. I promise." He peers into my eyes, with a sincere look
"You should've never had the un-fortune to meet me." He sobs into my matted hair. My heart aches. Because I fucking hate his guts, but I love him.

It takes everything I have in me to hold myself back from admitting my love for him.
"You're so kind Taylor. You deserve someone better, someone who will treat you good, give you a family, give you love." He pauses "Not me"
Tears stream down my face, he's right, but I cant imagine a life without him.
"I took your life. I took your happiness. I took your innocence. Ive taken everything from you." He sounds so sorrowful. So pitiful.
"And I cant give any of that back." he's filled with shame. Good.
"You didn't deserve that." He sighs and holds me tighter.

He leans in and pulls me into a kiss. The tension rises. I make out with the man who destroyed my life. Im so fucking ashamed of myself.
He pulls back
"I want to love you, Tom. But I'm so afraid." I admit
"You cant love me. Im unlovable Taylor. Look at me! Im a piece of shit!" He breaks down and collapses in my lap. I cup his face as he curses the world. He's so beautiful. How could someone so mesmerising have such an ugly soul.
"Tom I cant help it" I murmur
"I cant help but love you." My heart sinks.

Tom shakes in my lap as he weeps into my thigh, his tears soaking my bare leg. A pit forms in my stomach as I watch the person I'm most afraid of become weaker than me in a matter of seconds.
He drifts off to sleep in my lap. He looks so peaceful, so sweet. I listen to his breathing slow. His delicate pink lips close. The flushed red on his cheeks slowly fade away. His frown softens.

I sigh to myself as I play with his braids between my fingers. I want to move but I worry about what might happen if I wake him, so instead I just admire his beauty as he sleeps. I begin humming a song my mother used to sing to me. My sweet voice fills the room as I stroke Toms soft cheek. My beautiful boy.
My tears dry up and my headache grows faint.
The warm blood that was trickling down my face and neck goes dry. I look down at Toms knuckles, they're bloodied and cut open. Although, Im assuming most of the blood is mine. I take my free hand and poke my cheek bone, I wince as I prod around to discover if i have any cuts, and to no ones surprise, theres a few small cuts on my cheek. My jaw is killing me too, I open my mouth and wince as it aches every time I move my jaw. I touch my left eye, its swollen and throbbing.
Why do I put up with this?