a beautiful lie (continued/ original by winternightz)

An Explanation I Deserve

##TAYLORS POV##

As me and Tom lay in bed I stroke his messy dreads and hum to myself as he sleeps peacefully, his chest rises and falls slowly as he breaths and he snores a little, not much though, just a bit.
Before I wake him, I take a minute to admire his soft features, his perfect nose. his full lips. My heart craves his love. I need him to get better.
"Wake up baby" I whisper, careful not to startle him.

He flutters his eyes open, when he sees me he beams, his eyes filled with love. He pulls me into a tight hug, his muscly arms wrapped around my body keeping me close to him, I cant help but smile at his affection.
"Did you sleep well love?" He says, his voice deep and sleepy
"Of course" I kiss his delicate forehead
"Taylor?"
"Mhm~"
"I" He stumbles on his words, I hear him muttering something quietly as he tries to say what he was going to say.
"Yes?" I question. He doesn't respond, instead he buries his head further into my chest, his hot breath warms me up. Ok?...
"What we doing today?" He perks up
"I don't mind"
"Lets stay in bed for a while, I've missed cuddling you." He sounds slightly embarrassed to admit that, but I think its sweet.

We lay in each others embrace for a good ten minutes before I ask a question thats been in the back of my mind for a long long while
"Tom?"
"Yes baby?"
"Can I ask you something?"
He nods
"What was your childhood like? Did it kinda add to your condition?"
He goes silent
"Uhm-" He hesitates for a bit "My childhood wasn't great. I don't like talking about it much. But I think you deserve an explanation"
"You don't have to Tom, really its fine I just wondered."
"No, its ok love"

"Growing up, my dad he uh hit me and Bill a lot, and he abused my mother. All the time. He was a drunk. And he didn't have a job, so we were always late on water and electricity bills. We were very poor. My mother was the best woman I've ever met, no doubt. One night my dad was really mad about something, he shot my mother. I went crazy, so I shot him back. After that me and Bill went on the run. We slept behind buildings with the homeless and eventually we found Georg and Gustav. We decided from that day to prove ourselves to the world. We became pure evil, worse then now. We shot almost everyone that looked at us wrong. We robbed shops. Eventually we got a big name for ourselves, but then came the gangs. We met with another gang one night for a shootout and when we won we became one of the most feared gangs in Tokyo. After a lot of gang fights we became number one. That was it. We had made it to the top. And we started street racing, thats when the girls came into the picture. I promised myself I would never be like my dad. But my mental illness caught up with me. I broke my own promise. And Ill never forgive myself"

I feel his tears soak my pyjama top as he takes a deep breath. I lay in shock for a while. I never would've guessed he went through so much. He lost his mother, his life, he lost everything.
I rub his back as he cries into my chest, his shoulders shaking from the emotions which are overwhelming him. My heart hurts for him, and Bill. My poor boys.
"Shh shh sh its okay" I whisper as I comfort him while he relives his childhood in his head. His grip on me tightens as he chokes on his tears, I couldn't imagine loosing my mother in such a brutal way. I just couldn't.