a beautiful lie (continued/ original by winternightz)

He Is The Devil

I sit on the bed as Tom scrolls through different movies on Netflix.
"You wanna watch this?" He clicks onto a horror movie
"Mhm, sure." My body stiffens up as he sits next to me, he wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me into his side, I freeze up.
I try to control my unsteady breathing, my heart pounds in my chest and my blood runs cold.
I look to Tom who's engaged in the movie, he seems unbothered and he looks tired. Dark bags circle his dull eyes and his usual pink-ish cheeks are pale. Adrenaline pumps through my body as the time ticks on, the air is thick and Im finding it hard to breath.

I want to feel safe. I want to be able to comfortably melt into him. But no matter how much I try to fight my own brain, the trauma Tom has put me through clouds my mind.
I squeeze my eyes shut, just relax Taylor. I take a deep shaky breath in and slightly lean into Tom, allowing myself to rest my head on his broad shoulder. I keep my eyes shut tight.
I can feel Toms hot breath on my face ever so slightly, I can hear his steady breathing. I open my eyes and gaze up to Tom who's already looking at me 

"You okay love?" He whispers, I nod yes to him and he pulls me into a hug. His muscular arms wrap around my frail body, his heart beats softly in my ear, his calm energy slightly helps me to relax as I let my breathing synchronise with his. My stiff body slowly subdues and I move my hand to rest it on Toms stomach.

He reaches his hand down and tilts my head up with his finger on my chin, he peers into my lifeless eyes and leans in to kiss me. His soft lips press against mine as my thoughts seep away.
He pulls back and cups my bruised cheek in his large hand, I squirm as he brushes his thumb against my gashed face.

Concern washes over his face as I cringe at each movement his thumb makes. I mean, what did he expect?
"It looks sore" He says with a worried expression
"Mhm, it is." I say emotionless. My voice is empty and scratchy.
"Im sorry." Tom sighs as he stares at me, his anxiety rising. He wants me to tell him its okay, but its not. He cant beat me and expect forgiveness. So rather than replying I ignore his apology and swivel my head back towards the huge TV screen.

The movie is shit. Not one part of me is interested in it. Its bland and boring. I turn back to face Tom and lean into a kiss, however he backs off and pulls me back into a hug. Ive never known Tom to turn down a kiss, something must be seriously wrong. Or maybe he feels bad? I hope he does. I hope every time he looks into my eyes he's reminded of the torture he put me through. I hope his heart shatters every time he sees my injured body. I know that a tiny bit of him is disgusted with what he's done. Yet pride overrides his brain. His sadistic way of thinking overpowers any remaining bit of guilt. His manipulative habits crush all of his relationships.
His greed dominates his rationality.

He's the devil disguised in an angels body. His charming face hides his vile personality. His toned body masks his evil intents.
Still, I manage to be lured into his trap, every single time. He's malicious and violent though he seems to know when to suddenly switch up to keep me attached.
Its unfair how he gets away with treating me like dirt, he knows its unfair. And he also knows no matter how hard I fight back he'll always win, and that has been proven many times. And with the timid, broken state of myself currently, we both know that no matter how hard I punch or kick I wont be able to actually injure him.

The movie goes on, as I move my head onto Toms shoulder once again, he abruptly stands up
"What?" I ask, riddled with confusion. He ignores me and exits the room, leaving me baffled in the bed on my own. I hope he left because he felt himself switching, not because he doesn't want me near him.
I hear his heavy footsteps pacing the hall outside our room, he huffs every so often. I wonder what the matter is? He paces back and forth, then silence. His footsteps disappear further down the long hallway. I want to follow him, see what the matter is, comfort him. But if I were to join him, he might grow angry, he might beat me again. He's so unpredictable that it leaves me to be consumed by what ifs instead of actually going to help him. Id like him to change for good. Id like a stable relationship. Yet I know that as long as his disorder developes he'll become worse than he is now.

For now all I can do is wait in anticipation to find out whether he'll become the angry monster that I know very well, or if he'll be the kind hearted boyfriend that Ive always wanted.
Footsteps near my room, however they're not Toms, they're softer than his, faster than his.
The door handle moves down, revealing Bill who's stood in the doorway. He sits on the edge of my bed and sighs before he opens his mouth to speak

"Are you okay, love?" His words are sincere and sweet, my body instantly relaxes as I let my breathing slow down.
"Yeah, Im ok." My voice is sad, Bills face is full of concern as he takes in my beat up appearance.
"Hes so cruel to you." He looks towards the TV which is still playing the same shitty movie me and Tom were watching.
He pats my thigh and comes to sit next to me, he strokes my matted hair and his eyes water.
"You are so strong, Taylor" He says, Id love to believe that I am, but Im not. He tilts my head to face his
"You poor girl." He stares into my broken soul as he slowly leans towards my face, he plants a soft, hesitant kiss on my split lips and I pull back in an instant. What just happened? I scrunch my eyebrows and look at his sad eyes. Oh God, I just kissed Toms brother.
"You need to leave." I turn away from him and motion for him to exit the room, his smile drops and he collects himself before exiting the dark room.

Shit.