a beautiful lie (continued/ original by winternightz)

New Clothes New Me

All of the boys load into their cars and I, as per, get into Toms passenger seat.
"Please can we not go as fast today" I don't feel like having a heart attack this morning, which is understandable
Tom sighs "Ill try" I clench my teeth and look out the window to see everyone else rolling out.

Tom steps on the gas and we fly past Gustav and Bill putting us behind Georg, who is luckily going at an acceptable speed. I release my grip from the seatbelt and put my hand on my lap, Tom turns on his music. Its the same booming shit he'd listen to during races.

Suddenly all of the memories come flooding back, but the one that seems to be most prominent is the crash. That night was possibly in the top 3 worst experiences I've ever had. My heart pounds in my chest as I remember the way I could just about hear the tires skidding over the music, I remember how Tom was screaming and punching the steering wheel. I remember how the rain pounded onto the never ending road ahead of us. I remember what he did to me.

"So, what do you need? You know, other than clothes?" Tom interrupts my thoughts. He pats my leg and continues driving at a steady pace.
"uh-" my voice trembles as I try to shake the memories "like, shower stuff, and underwear. I guess" I keep my eyes on the road ahead of us, just as I did the night we crashed.
"Okay, shouldn't be hard to find then" Tom notices my clenched jaw and scared look, he turns the music down and skips the song, its strange how he picks up on my moods so easily.

All I want is to be able to talk to him, properly. And tell him how I feel, but theres always the possibility of it setting off one of his episodes. Im so glad that he's being mostly normal right now, but who knows how long this will last?

As we pull off of the main road, we begin driving through a huge city. All of the buildings tower over us and the whole place is bustling with people, there are so many lights and hundreds of different shops and restaurants. My eyes widen upon seeing the infamous city, it really does live up to its name, and I bet its been doing a lot better without Tom and the gang fucking everything up.

Tom trails behind Georg as we pull into one of the massive parking lots. We park up and I take a long, deep breath before stepping out of the sleek shiny car. Tom comes to my side and takes my hand before calling the boys over.
"Okay boys, no, and I mean no, fuck ups. Including fighting, yelling, or grabbing women." Its good to see that he's trying to change. But the way he's talking is so serious and cold that I'm not sure wether to be glad or fucking terrified
"Understood?" He looks to the others who are all nodding there heads, they share the same scared expression.

Tom walks forward, pulling me beside him and everyone follows. It feels so refreshing being out like a normal person again, except none of this is anywhere near normal. And I wouldn't be surprised if anyone recognised the gang, I mean they really were the most feared and popular gang in Tokyo. But at least they're respected, I guess.

As we approach the entrance to the city, I tighten my grip on Toms hand and move slightly closer to him. Yes, he might scare me, but he's my protector.
I look into the shop windows and try to find a shop that sells shower products, it doesn't take long. I tug Toms hand and point towards a shop with shampoos and conditioners stacked up on a display wrack. We enter the shop with the others and I look around. There are so many different smells, coconut, strawberry, lavender. I feel like a baby who's only just developed a sense of smell. Its so weird being around other people who have their own lives and problems to worry about.

I pick up so many of the different products and smell every single one. As I'm scanning the shelves, I notice Tom in the corner of my eye, who's smiling at me. He looks sort of proud, in a way. I try to ignore him, I feel like he'd be embarrassed if I caught him staring.
After a long while of smelling different items I finally find what I need.

I look to Tom and hold out the products,
"Yes love, you can have them" I jump on the spot and shove the items into his hands while dragging him to the cashier.
"Just these" He puts everything onto the counter and the lady scans them all while taking out a small bag to put everything in.
"That'll be £30.50 please" she presses a few buttons and puts the card reader towards Tom. He scans his card and pushes the bag in my direction, I pick it up and take his hand as he leaves the shop
"Thank you Tom!" I say filled with pure excitement
"Your welcome, hun"

We walk for a few minutes before Bill comes up next to us
"Im hungry" He groans
"We need to buy stuff for Taylor, Bill" Its nice that Tom cares solely about my needs
"I know. Can me and the others go to the food court? Please!" Tom nods at him and the boys hurry over to the huge food plaza.
"You not hungry?" I ask
"Ill eat at home, right now I'm focused on you"
I smile up at him and he rubs his thumb on my knuckles.
We find a big clothes shop and I drag Tom in
"Taylor, the shop isn't going anywhere any time soon, we have all day, no need to rush" I roll my eyes at him and continue pulling him towards the women's isle.

I browse through all of the clothes, touching and feeling all of the different materials. I come across a beautiful turquoise blue dress and take it off the shelf, I throw it into the basket that Toms holding
"Thats nice, love" He says while watching me skip down the aisles. I find new jeans and a pretty pink sweater, I hold the jeans up to my waist and look in the mirror to see if they'd fit, but to my surprise, they are much too loose. But these are the same size I used to wear. I stare at myself for a while in shock, I have no clue how I managed to loose so much weight. I poke and prod at my stomach in disbelief
"Hey, its alright, just find a smaller size" Tom appears behind me and takes down a smaller pair from the hangers before handing it to me.

"It doesn't matter baby, Im sure you'll be back to normal in no time, okay?"
I turn around to face him and I hesitantly put the small jeans into the basket. I try to keep my excitement, yet a part of me feels let down. It feels like I've let myself go. My once toned curvy body is slowly deteriorating.
Tom puts his arm around my shoulder and kisses the side of my head as we continue down the aisles.
"I still think you're beautiful" He whispers to me while stroking my arm.

Once we finished filling up the basket, we make our way to the cashier. Tom pays for everything while I stand beside him, zoning out. The man at the counter crams everything into two bags and slides them towards Tom who picks them up.

Tom grabs my hand and leads me back towards the food hall where the boys are.
"Thanks, Tom" I say while staring down at the floor, watching my feet. We enter the food court, and the smell of McDonalds and other fast foods cloud my senses. In the distance, I see Gustav spot us and jump to his feet while dragging the others along behind him to meet us.

"Can we go home now? Please! We've been waiting for fucking years!" Gustav sounds fed up of waiting around, which is fair enough
"Don't be rude, Gustav. Its been an hour." Tom snaps back, I tug on his sleeve to take his attention away before shaking my head at him, he rolls his eyes and leads us back to the car park, where we all get back into our rides and hit the road.