My Perfect Addiction

Chapter Forty-Four

The ride to the seventh floor seemed to feel like it took an eternity. I stepped off the elevator and I looked up and it slammed into me when I seen the sign that read MICU. Medical Intensive Care Unit, its real Ryder is really here and I am powerless to help her. I rushed down the hall and found her room almost immediately. I swallowed the lump in the throat and willed the throw up down as I pushed the room door open. The room dim and the only thing I could hear was the beep of her monitor. I pulled the curtain back and there she laid, her wrist bandaged, connected to monitors to keep watch of her breathing and heart beat. I could still see the dried blood on her arm from her wrist and the thoughts of her laying on that bed bleeding everywhere with our son screaming downstairs took over my head again. I grabbed a chair from the corner and pulled it to her bedside. I grabbed her hand in mine and just stared at her and it hurt. It hurt that I am sitting here with her in the hospital bed and I can't fix this. Im mad that it even got so far that she felt that this was her only option. Why didn't she call me, call my family....just call someone. I love her more than anything in his world and I can't take seeing her this way.

I spent the next 12 hours just rubbing my thumb over her knuckles softy as I held her hand and talking to her. I prayed non stop that she just wake up, wake up and tell me why she did this. My phone went off almost incessantly through out the day, but I didn't answer. I didn't want to talk to anyone and I didn't want to have to explain anything or listen to the fake concern and pity from people thinking they know what is going on and how I feel.

I must have drifted off some point in the middle of the night with her hand still in mine. When I woke up, there was a nurse taking her vitals.

"Mr. McIntyre.."

"I fell asleep?"

"Yes"

"What is happening, how is Ryder?"

"Im just checking her vital. Her vitals are good, so far no sign of an infection and doctors are considering pulling back on her sedation. Mr. McIntyre can I ask you, do you know what would cause her to ado something like this?"

"I wish I knew, Ryder and I have been split up for a few months, I came to her house so we could plan our son's first birthday and found her."

"She seems like she has so much to want to live for. Now once she wakes up she is going to have a battery of psychological exam's and will be placed on a 72 hour hold, depending on doctors findings maybe more."

"She's not crazy....."

"I never said she is, doctors are going to want to find out the reasons behind it and if its a mental heath issue give the resources she will need."

"If she requires any kind of resources I can handle it money is no object."

"I know Mr. McIntyre and I understand how emotionally draining this can be. Why don't you go get yourself a cup of coffee, call and check on your son. She is fine and won't be up for awhile."

"I don't know, I don't really want to leave her...."

"Joe, can I call you Joe?"

"Yeah"

"Joe, go get a cup of coffee, get some air. Ill call you personally if anything."

I sighed, did I want too no but she was right maybe some air would do me good. I stood up and stretched before leaning down kissing her lips so gently,

"Ry Ry baby, Im going to get some coffee and call and check on the baby, I'll be back in half an hour."