Dear little brother...

Chapter 16 - The Sun Never Shines

;Hero's POV;

I scan the bleek, drab hospital room around me. Sometimes, it feels like nothing ever changes; same old, same old. The hospital room isn't as bright as it regularly is, indicating cloudy weather outside. I hear the thunder crackle. I feel tired. I sit in bed for a few minutes. Taking my crutches from the side of my bed, I walk over to the bathroom. Splashing water on my face. I look tired, feel tired, am tired. Tired of everything. I don't deserve to loath, I don't deserve anything. I don't work hard at all, even. I just don't know what I'll do, half of my old friends gone. Alone, the sun never shines.

I zoned out in the mirror. Staring at my blank reflection. Feeling empty, yet still sorrowful after yesterday's event. It's just an endless loop. I'll never be able to do anything right. I realize all my imperfections. My uncombed hair, my eyebags, my bloodshot eyes, dry skin, my life...

I grab the provided comb and frisk it through my hair, fluffing it up a little. I can see the reflection of my beloved in the mirror, having failed her time and time again. The world begins to spiral around me.

Hero...

Why can't you do anything right..? It could've been perfect before you messed everyone up!.. It's such a shame, all my hard work.. you loved me and now most of us are dead..

My beloved... please forgive me...

A droplet drips down from the faucet, taking me out of the derealization. I loved them, and I killed them. Or did I..? My face is covered in beads of sweat. Feeling unsettled, I leave the mirror and all its inhabitants behind. Closing the door behind me. The hospital room is empty. My parents won't be coming today, they have gifts to give to our close-by relatives and errands to run. How could I ever repay them..? The room's landline is on the side table, and I read it. "One new voice-mail." Three outcomes here: 1. It's a scam. 2. It's my parents. 3. From the hospital.

Did you guess 2? Because you would be wrong. It's none of the above. I click the button.

"Uh... hi, this is like.. room.. 132..? If it's not; well, my apologies.. It's me, Basil. I am here to speak to my friend Hero..:"

"I can't find Aubrey anywhere, and it's been hours.. I asked the floor advisor for your number because I don't want to disturb you... if you can, please call me back with more info. be safe... from Basil.."

Oh God, what happened this time?.. I think I should talk to Aubrey if I can find her. It's for the better. I can't let this happen again. I just can't.

My heart is ridden with guilt, never given the opportunity to catch its breath. To think that for the past four years that I could never do anything to help any of my friends makes me feel cold. One day I'll make up for it. I've had enough time to think things over, though. I need to act cautiously this time, be the better person. Today, I do as much as I can. Tomorrow, is the day that everything will change, however. I can still be their hero. I don't need one myself. Moreover, I don't deserve one anyways. Maybe I can still look forward.

I stand there for a solid moment, striding forward towards my door after a second of thinking. Going to give it my best, I can make up for what I lack. And maybe one day, judgment day, I can finally renew myself for what I have lacked. I won't be forgiven, though.

I walk over to the elevator, wanting to go to the desk on floor five. I don't want to go back to floor ten. My eyes get a bit watery as I move forward. I press the button. A familiar 'beep' plays, one that I have been acquainted with my entire life. I enter the elevator shaft and feel uneasy, thinking of the events of the past week. The motion of the elevator going downwards makes me feel lightheaded. My ears ring for no particular reason. The doors open. I walk towards the front desk, the lady looking up from her computer to glance at me to take in her surroundings. "Need something?" She asks. "I apologize, but I am looking for the room of my friend, Basil Fay." She looks ever-so-slightly taken back by the politeness of the statement. "Oh...kay," She looks back down at her computer screen and types in the name. Clicking on one of the options. "Basil Fay: room 85, floor 5." She reads off. "Thank you, ma'am." I thank her and head off. I go down the hallway to Basil's room.