Dear little brother...

Chapter 17 - Always and Forever

;Basil's POV;

I wake up from my sleep. I look out the window... seems that it will be cloudy. I have one person on my mind.

"The truth of that day will be hard to accept. When you see it, you have to stay strong."

"And if you can... please forgive me.."

I will always think of him. Remembering and keeping secrets. I'm sorry I failed you. I hope you can forgive me for shutting you out and forgetting, letting you rot away from the weight of my actions. When it happened, all I wanted was to protect you. Be careful what you wish for..

I have nothing to do rather than lie in bed. I'm pretty weak. Honestly, sometimes I can't even stand for too long without getting overly exerted. I can't run for squat, either. So I stay at home gardening. My arms still ache from the previous week, the week that I made my second worst mistake ever. My jaw hurts, too. Punch after punch as the head spilling ear-ringing got the best of me, I became engulfed in rage at something, pushing farther-and-farther into it before I realized the weight of my actions.

My head hurts. Sunny is really... dead, huh?.. It's weird to think about. He was basically a breathing corpse for 4 years. I didn't see him at all in that timeframe, yet it feels so weird to think that it really is the end, for all I know.

I begin to look for Aubrey. Going to help her for the past 4 years of my mistakes. Weighed down by my guilt, I ask the doctor at the desk regarding the location of Aubrey. "H-hello, ma'am?.." she looks up from her desk. "How may I help you?" "Do you know the floor of my friend... ..Aubergine Williams.?.." I forgot her name for a moment. She looks at her monitor and quickly dashes in the name. "...Aubergine Williams..." she mumbles to herself as she clicks on one of the logs on her computer. "Room 127.. floor 8.." she looks down at the clipboard on her desk. "Thank you, ma'am.." I reply. Leaving while making my way to Aubrey's room. The sound of footsteps echoes throughout my brain, drowned out by denial. I just don't get it..

Through my walk of mental fatigue, I zone back in and realize I have arrived at floor 8. I walk down the desolate hallway, haunted by the memory of what used to be.

I reach the door and lift my hand up. I sigh and look down, hesitating for a second. I stare blankly at the door.

"Basil...?"

A voice in the distance casts out.

I look behind me. "S-sunny..?!" He stares at me with those same expressionless eyes. He looks malnourished. His eye split open, by me, of course. I can only imagine the image if his body on the pavement. I feel tears roll down my cheek as I look at him, biting at my lower lip to stop myself from crying out. He looks right through me.

"It should have been you."

It fades away. "Sunny!.." I try to run up to where it was and end up tripping. "Come back..." I mutter. I just sit on the ground for a solid second. I decide that, it would be too embarrassing to be seen like this. I get up, barely. I feel weak from not eating anything. I don't deserve it, but it feels like I'm wilting away. I look at my hands.

... .... nothing

I wait there for a solid second. Standing near the door. I knock.

No response.

"Hello... Au-Aubrey..?" I ask, knocking again. Maybe she had just not heard my knock... maybe she went to the bathroom in her room. Whatever it was, I try to knock a third time. This time, knocking harder.

Still nobody came.

I look back at the door number. Maybe I was at the wrong room. It's... room 127... where could she have gone? I invite myself into the room without knocking. There is nobody in here. I scan the room, "Aubrey?.." yet, still nothing. I- no.. she wouldn't have... right? I check around the room, arriving at her nightstand. Sloppily written letters and a nice flower reside on her desk. I can tell just who wrote them: her gang. But I forgive her, even if she isn't asking for forgiveness. I don't know where she went. But the very idea of her being gone, having jumped off the roof of the hospital far outweighs any other thought I am having.