Dear little brother...

Chapter 7 - Far Past

;Aubrey's POV;

The evening light shines through the window. Looking at my friends I yawn, "Hey, we should get going now.." "oh shit, is it already 7:00? Damn, time flies!" Kim adds. Hero and Kel are both upstairs, their parents will probably be home soon and I want to let them rest. I throw out the paper plates and wipe down the table with my sleeve dampened. "Hey, aubs! You 'comin?" I suppose that I will. But home is the only thing on my mind. I dont have it in me today. Im just tired. But thats only how it feels now, I know that the worst is yet to come. When its just me and my thoughts, I'll fall into obscurity, I'll end up leaving them and I'm sorry for it. I just realized that I never asked Hero about Basil, he looked really worried when he got home. But really? Do I even want to know? Im still concerned about the fight, there has to be something going on. I clench my lips together try not to cry. At this point, the rest of the hooligans went their way, they know that I've been acting weird lately.

I walk into my house, "..hey, Ma." I greet her. No response. As always... the smell of alcohol clutters the house. She's been a mess ever since dad left, what started as a simple, small drinking habit quickly turned into madness. Right now she is hungover on the couch. I cant fucking live like this.

I CAN'T I CAN'T I CAN'T I CAN'T

After taking my shoes off I run up to my room, locking the door. I huddle up in the corner of my bed, holding my knees tight as I begin to cry into my legs.

"Ooh, no... please dont cry... whats wrong?" A soft and familiar feminine voice calls out.
"There there, everything will be alright!" A boy accompanies her in comforting you.
"Hey, do you need help or something?" A younger boy says in a more playful tone while smiling at you.
"Are you alright? You look like you scraped your knee..." another young boy walks up, he shows concern.

"Oh no, she lost her shoe!.."
"Hey! We can help find it, right guys?"
"Yeah!"
"Do you need help up?"

Those days and memories are long past. Why does this curse plague our friend group? Sometimes it feels like I'm not even me. I throw my blanket over myself. What even happened today? Was it all just a bad dream? I can barely remember what happened. I realize now that its my fault for everything. I thought that he abandoned me, when in reality I was the one who left him. I let him self deprecate in his house for 4 years, not once did I think of helping him. Yet.. he came back for me. Why am I so fucked up? I did nothing but feel bad for myself for 4 years, I bottled up my emotions and took them out on my friends when they were just trying to help. I cry myself to sleep, yet its still so early.

"Welcome to the bright abyss, you've been living here for as long as you can remember."

There is a diary, it brings back too many memories. You decide not to open it. You look from side to side, there is bun-bun, peacefully sleeping. "*nibble* (waiting for something to happen?)" There is a pillow, sometimes sleeping on the floor is nice. You look up, a lightbulb hangs from the ceiling, emitting a pink light that goes almost nowhere. There is a familiar lockpick on the ground, you bought it because your mother used to lock the door.

A white door casts a faint shadow. What would you like to do?

Open it  «
Do not

You twist the knob, 'click'

A brother and sister sit together on a checkered blanket, giggling. They dont even seem to notice you. The younger brother holds apple juice in his hand. He drinks the last bit as the older sister laughs, "done already?" She questions him. He lets out a faint smile and puts it in his pocket. You walk up to them. Someone jumps out of the bush, "say cheese!" You look at him, surprised. You hear the picture printing. "Is something wrong, Aubrey?" He says, concerned. "Oh, Basil, you shouldn't scare Aubrey like that!.. even if it was a little funny.." the older sister mumbles at the last part. The younger brother picking at his nail. "Im sorry, Aubrey." The boy says as he grabs your arm. "C'mon!" You both sit down at the picnic. The younger brother leans on the older sister. You look at them, you begin to cry. "Aww, Aubrey... dont cry.. even though it is late, we'll be back tomorrow!" She smiles at you. You haven't seen her face in forever, its so familiar. She fades into a silhouette, shortly after her brother does, too. "Aubrey, we'll always be here if you remember us." They slowly fade away.

"Wait dont go!!!" You call out. No response. "Aubrey, did you have a nightmare?" You realize you are somewhere completely different. The blonde haired boy beside you asks. You sit up from your towel. "I guess I did" he looks at you, "you should go swimming before we leave, Aubrey. Get in the water one last time, you know? I'll stay here, it's too cold for me." You inspect the waters.

A broken, bloody arm drags you under as the water turns crimson red.

You did this

...im sorry

No youre not.

You see a shadow of a boy, his white eyes glow at you and his hair splits at the ends.

You deserve this
You pushed him into the lake
You monster
It should have been you

You see a mangled corpse

You deserve this
You fought with him
You monster
It should have been you

You see a helping hand, willing to get you out of this abyss. The silhouette has a feminine stature, it has no face but you can feel a warm smile emitting from it.

Its not your fault
They understand
Youre okay
They forgive your actions

"Aubrey"
"Its okay"

You wake up in the white abyss, your heart is racing. Your lockpick has a park embrace.

This will not hurt. Would you like to stab yourself?

There is no other way forward  «

You get pushed into the lockpick.

There is something on the other side of your bed. Something stares at you with a melting eye. It says nothing. Your ears ring and your vision becomes blackened around the edges. Your breathing gets heavy. You hear a quiet, soft voice call out. "Aubrey, its not as scary as you think." "Remember how to calm down." You breathe in, you breathe out. Something disappears.