ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴅᴏɴᴛ ɢɪᴠᴇ ᴜᴘ ᴏɴ ᴍᴇ

fifty six

At the next morning i wake up with Charles's head next to my belly. He was gently breathing, sounding awake.

I stroke his hair gently and he look up at me. I can read the fear and the tiredness in his eyes.  He looked like he didn't have much sleep at the night.

"You look so exhausted." - i whisper and he only close his eyes leaning his head back where it was.
"I'm fine. Just some lack of sleep." - he said stroking my belly.
"You should've sleep love."
"I was worried. If it happens again..If you don't even tell me about it..If you don't wake me up. I just.." - he stopped and looked back at me.
"I know you are worried. For so much things recently. You should relax. Properly."
"I will relax when our little one is born and healthy. Till that i will be constantly worried."
"You're amazing father love. I never doubt that you will love your kids endlessly." - i can hear him smiling and that also made me smile.
"Can we know the gender already. I want to be happy for one thing after all of this." - he look back at me and i nod.
"It can be tomorrow on Tuesday. Everyone are racing today baby. Carlos and Isa need to prepare for this, cause they'll probably organise it."
"Alright, at least it will be soon." - he stand from the bed and change.

I grab my phone and texted Isa. She told me they can prepare it even for Monday afternoon. And it sounds perfect.

I get ready and head to the living room. Charles was cuddling with Mateo watching TV. Charles was explaining him something in french but i didn't listen properly to it.

I go to the kitchen to make him coffee and breakfast. When i was back there they were watching their favourite movie again.

Mateo was snuggled into Charles, they were way too sweet right now.

I sit next to Charles and give him the breakfast. He gave me a tired smile and take it.

He shared some with me and Mateo while we were all watching the movie.

Charles's phone buzzed up and it was Xavi. It was clearly because he is not in England for the race.

He shut it down and lean himself on me.

"It was from racing right?"
"It doesn't matter, but yes." - he said and sigh.
"It is matter love. Is it too late to fly and be there?"
"No, but i can't. I don't need it. I need to know you are ok." - he said and hug me tightly.
"I want you to have some sleep then. A night without sleeping? Charles you never do that. I know you are worried but you're hurting yourself like that." - i said seriously.
"Don't you understand i do that for you? Because i care? I fucking fly out from England just to come back home to see you."
"Don't Infront of Mateo!" - i said and he look at us.
"Don't argue! I hate when you two are arguing!" - Mateo said sitting between us. 

My eyes were already filled with tears. Knowing your kid knows every time when you argue. It felt awful.

"Mattie, we are not arguing. It's just little tense up. Daddy needs some sleep now."- i stroke his hair but he shake his head.
"You always say that and it always ends up with argument." - he said with low voice.
"Oh buddy, now mommy is right. I'm little tense up because i didn't have much sleep. I promise I'm not arguing with mommy."

He look back at both of us and nod. We hug him tight. At that moment i felt so bad.

The rest of the day i didn't really talked to Charles. It was always awkward silence even if we were with Mateo.

When i put him to sleep it started to be even more awkward.

"Maddy.." - he said as i enter the living room.

I don't really wanted to make argument, so i just make my way to him watching him play on his sim.

"I'm sorry ok?" - he said looking at me till i looked back at him.
"I-i..i'm sorry too." - i said with watery eyes.
"It's not really your fault. I'm sorry, i know you know that i care just...it was way too much when I didn't had good sleep." - he turned fully to me.
"I know..i begged you to sleep. It wasn't better when you didn't." - i stroke his hair and he smile.
"Then let's go to bed." - he said and i nod.

We make our way to the bedroom and directly slide into the bed.

"I forgot to tell you...Isa and Carlos are preparing the gender reveal for tomorrow afternoon. Tomorrow we will know what our little one will be." - i said with exited voice and he look at me with smile.
"Really? It will be the best day of my life! After that one with Mateo!" - he said also that exited.
"Mine too love. And I'm grateful it's with you. I've never dreamed for better. - i said and kiss him gently.
"I'm also grateful my love. Maybe sometimes we argue or don't get on well that good but..i love you so much. You and our little family. I'm literally the luckiest man in the whole world. I have wonderful wife, and family. I'm so happy i met you." - he said with watery eyes.
"I'm also happy baby. You are the best husband and father our kids could wish for. I am also the luckiest woman in this world." - i said hugging him tightly.
"I love you Mrs. Leclerc." - he whisper already relaxed.
"I love you more Mr. Leclerc." - i whisper too.