I Should Have Known

I Should Have Known Chapter 5

*** Taylor’s POV***

As light started to pour in through the windows my eyes started to slowly flutter open and I felt a warm body pressing into me and keeping me warm.  Cale’s scent immediately filled my nose and I cuddled deeper into his arms feeling safe as I had ever been. Cale’s arms tightened around me pulling me closer. Then thoughts about Dane flitted into my head and I held back a sob.

I slowly crawled out from underneath his arms trying not to wake him. I went to his room where there was a drawer of my things. I found running shoes, shorts, and stole one of Cale’s old T-Shirts. I found a piece of paper and wrote a note to Cale saying that I had gone running not to worry I would be back in a few hours. To make sure he found it I stuck it right on his forehead.

I plugged in my headphones to my phone and started to run. Run such a simple three letter word yet it always had kept me from going over my limits. The day after the accident was the first time I had ever run. Ever since then every time I had a problem I ran until I figured it out. Sometimes it was so bad I would find myself miles and miles from where I had started and I would have no clue where I was.

As I put in my headphones Flyleaf’s All Around Me started to play totally summing up how I felt. As my feet started to pound against the ground I lost my self in the song.

My hands are searching for you

My arms are outstretched towards you

I feel you on my fingertips

My tongue dances behind my lips for you

This fire rising through my being

Burning I'm not used to seeing you

I'm alive, I'm alive

I can feel you all around me

Thickening the air I'm breathing

Holding on to what I'm feeling

Savoring this heart that's healing

My hands float up above me

And you whisper you love me

And I begin to fade

Into our secret place

The music makes me sway

The angels singing say we are alone with you

I am alone and they are too with you

I'm alive, I'm alive

I can feel you all around me

Thickening the air I'm breathing

Holding on to what I'm feeling

Savoring this heart that's healing

And so I cry

The light is white

And I see you

I'm alive, I'm alive, I'm alive

I can feel you all around me

Thickening the air I'm breathing

Holding on to what I'm feeling

Savoring this heart that's healing

Take my hand

I give it to you

Now you own me

All I am

You said you would never leave me

I believed you

I believe

I can feel you all around me

Thickening the air I'm breathing

Holding on to what I'm feeling

Savoring this heart that's healed

Soon I found myself over 5 miles away from Cale’s house and not any closer to figuring this all out. I thought about all the good times we had had over the last year. All the time his hands were on me and his lips on my own. All the sweet words and looks.
Yet I still couldn't get that image of him kissing Anna out of my head. No matter how hard I tried every time I thought about him that image came into my head. Could I ever love him again could I ever trust him again?
I just didn't know what to do. All those tears I have seen my friends cry over guys all the hurt they felt couldn’t even compare to what I was feeling. I felt like half of myself I was gone. I felt like everything was upside down.
Maybe I was better off without him. Maybe the rest of the year I would just concentrate on sports and grades. Maybe after seeing him every day, day after day it wouldn’t hurt so much. What the hell how could it ever not hurt! The man I thought I was going to marry will never be that guy again and maybe one day it will stop hurting but not anytime soon.

Soon I realized I was running up Cale’s drive way and once again nothing could prepare me for what I saw.

***Author’s Note***

Hi everyone so as I promised before 10 pm another update. So sorry for the cliffhangers but it always feels so right to end a chapter on them. Please listen to the song with the chapter it makes it fit so much better! Also the picture on the side is of Dane!