I Should Have Known

I Should Have Known Chapter 30

***Recap***

            "We can make it work Cale I love you and you love me we can always make it work." I said the tears now flowing freely.

Taylor

            "This isn't goodbye Cale, I will wait because I love you. I'm sorry." I said leaning in and quickly kissing him on the cheek and walking out. Cale quickly shut the door behind me and I leaned into it and slid down to the floor. Only then did the tears fall in earnest.

***End of Recap***

            I quickly slid the last of my belongings into my third and final bag. In those three bags I had somehow managed to pack up all that I need and all that was important to me.

            I had picture frames with pictures of Cale and I from the time we were toddlers till the most recent one of us that someone on the yearbook committee had taken when they caught us kissing under the trees at school.

            I could already feel the sharp burn of tears threatening my eyes. I had never actually known heartbreak until now. Until I had actually been deeply, madly, in love, and deeply, madly, in love is exactly what it had been with Cale.

            When people talked about heartbreak I never really understood. Sure you thought you were in love with him then he dumped you or slept with your best friend big whoop. Go eat a pint of Ben n' Jerry's and get over it, but this was different.

            This was the kind of love that took eighteen years to build. This was the kind of love that only two people who really knew each other could have. This was that once in a life time kind of love.

            That was the love I could never have again. It seemed I had just gotten a taste of it. We had been going out for eight months and to some people that would be a long time but to me it seemed like just a brief second amongst millions. I wanted to love him until I was old and gray then quietly walk away from this world with him when it was our time. I wanted the whole shebang with this guy, because he wasn't just a guy. He was the guy.

             When Cale had told me to get out after I had told him about where I was actually going to college I felt my heart breaking. There was this excruciating pain that seemed to weight down on you until you were completely consumed by it.

            This was what true heartbreak was.

            Heartbreak is the pain of knowing that you will never get to have that kind of crazy, wonderful, beautiful love again. That was the kind of pain knowing that you'd found your soul mate and then lost them. That was the pain that coursed through my body and consumed my mind.

            "You ready to go Taylor?" Bella said interrupting my silent pity party.

            "I don't think I'll ever be ready to go Bella." I said quickly wiping away a tear before it fell.

            "You know you don't have to do this, you could always just stay here and go to Texas Tech." Bella said laying her hand over mine.

            "Well I thought about that long and hard but why would I base my whole life on a boy? Why should I change everything for him, besides maybe it just wasn't meant to be."

            I quickly shoved my last bag in the car and quickly slammed the trunk closed.  Out of their own accord my eyes glanced up to look in Cale's window. It  as the same as it had been since I'd told him I was leaving.

            The dark blue curtains closed, shutting his room away from the world, shutting Cale away from the world. I hadn't seen him leave the house since I told him. I just prayed to God that he'd be okay.

            I quickly hugged Bella good bye and shed a few tears over that, it was hard to leave your best friend and boy friend behind, but I knew it was exactly what I needed.

            I needed to get away from the hell hole I lived in. I needed to get away from the memories of my siblings death, away from a cheating ex boyfriend, away from my childhood home that no longer felt like a home.

            But the one thing I was leaving behind with all of it, was my heart.

***Author's Note***

Well sorry for the super long wait, school has been killing me. Also I feelt like everything I wrote for so long was crap and these last few chapters need to be AMAZING! Well here you go i'll try to update again soon!