Mateless

*28*

Waking 30 minutes later I drug myself to the bathroom and took a quick shower. Walking back into the bedroom I saw Marq sitting on the edge of the bed looking at a picture that a pack member took of us three last week. Sitting  next to him and putting my head on his shoulder I traced the picture with my finger. "I can't believe he is gone." Marq painfully chocked out.

"I know I can't believe it either. We won't be graced with his smiling face or his quick witt." I mumbled into his shoulder.

Readjusting he wrapped me in his warm embrace and stroked my back.
"I'm so sorry Lyla. I should have been right beside him."

"And what would you have done? Jumped in front of him and then it would have been you laying there with poison running through your body. It hurts yes, but I still have you and we will make sure his name is never forgotten in this pack or in your coven."

"Our coven remember, you are the High priestess." Marq reminded me.

"I know which means I will have to travel between the pack and the coven. When would be a good time to visit? I'm sure your mother would like dashs body buried near his family and the coven." I rambled on.

"Shh, let's talk to mere about all that later for now just lay with me." with his arms still around me we laid back and just remembered our time with dash. Marq telling me about their childhood and all the trouble they caused. With my stomach rumbling we decided to go eat then look for Nicole to discuss arrangements.

The pack house was eerily silent as we ventured downstairs. The silence was more disturbing than when the house was full of noise. Reaching the kitchen mom was busy whipping up food and deserts. She  had the counters laid out with all kinds of food from casseroles to soups to steak. Eyeing all the food I realized she was preparing for the packs memorial ceremony for the lost alpha. Trying to hold in the tears I sniffled which made my mom whip around and upon seeing my tears she ran over and grabbed me in a bone crushing hug.

"Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry! I just don't know what to say." looking at Marq she opened her arms and included him in the hug. "I'm happy you two have each other to get through this. That is a blessing."

"Why mom? Loosing two mates within months? What have I done to deserve all this pain?" My pain filled cries were probably heard all through the house.

"Honey, you have done nothing wrong. You are an excellent alpha and the whole pack adores and respects you." mom tried soothing my frazzled nerves.

Marq kept quite and let me rant. Realizing I probably hurt his feelings made me feel even more like a looser.
turning from my mother into his arms I held on tight.

I'm so sorry love, I didn't mean to imply anything. I love you so much and if you weren't here I'm sure I would never be able to recover this time.

No worries amoureux, I feel your pain and I know how much you love me and I hate that you are going through all this again. we both felt your anguish and pain the last time and we felt so helpless. I feel that way again, I don't know what to do or how to help you

You are helping right now. just being here and holding me and not judging though all my little outbursts. I know you are hurting also. probably more since you two were connected since birth

It does leave a big hole in my self but you make up for the loss. we will never be able to replace dash in each other's lives but we can rebuild with our own memories and our love.

"I love you so much!" I told him through my tears.

Wiping them from my face he leaned in and lightly kisses my lips. "and I love you Lyla."

Mom cleared her throat, "Sorry but your father just told me Kalen is awake."

"Thanks mom we will go visit him as soon as we talk to nicole." grabbing an apple and water as we started for the door.

"She is also at the hospital. She hasn't left dashs side since she returned with him." she sadly said.

"Okay, thanks mom." pecking her cheek we left for the hospital.

First stopping to see Kalen I knocked on his door and I heard his gruff, "come in."

Slowly opening the door I peeked my head inside. "Alpha, please come in I am almost done with his assessment." the doctor said as he was writing on a clipboard.

"Hey curly, how are you feeling." I walked to the side of the bed and kissed his forehead.

"Better than you Mo. I'm so sorry! I should have went after Lassiter sooner. If I wasn't distracted I would have noticed his intentions." Kalen was mad at himself for no reason. He wouldn't have been able to stop anything.

"Kalen, stop. Lasiter is the only one to blame and you helped to kill him. That I owe you a great deal for. You have saved many innocent lives tonight so please don't blame yourself okay." I pleaded.

Sitting up he pulled me in for a hug. "You know I still love you right." I added as we pulled back.

"Of course Mo, although we aren't blood related I still consider you my sister." Kalen said as Wyetha entered the room rushing to his side.

"I'm glad you are well Kalen. I owe you a debt for saving Lyla." Marq expressed his gratitude.

"You owe me nothing, my job as beta is to protect the pack and our alpha. I'm just furious that I couldn't protect all three alphas." Kalen honestly said.

Nicole had slipped in the room during kalens speech. "Your job was not to protect my sons. You protected your alpha, your childhood friend, your family. You are a hero my boy. Lassiter is gone and the world is safe for the time being."

"Mere." Marq walked over and embraced his mom. "I'm ok cher, don't worry. I have said my goodbyes and released his soul to the afterlife. He is at peace." turning to me she added, "we can have a ceremony here if it would please you and the pack then we can visit the coven and have a rebirth party."

"I would love that but what is a rebirth party?" I asked.

"It is a celebration of life then death then the soul being reborn. We do not believe a soul is truly dead, it just waits for the opportunity to be reborn in a new body." she smiles sadly.

"That sounds lovely maybe we can have that to. We need to celebrate his love for life." I tried to hide my sadness.

Nicole grabbed my face and whispered, "il vous aimait beaucoup cher. vous êtes une bouffée d'air frais pour cette famille et le coven. Nous sommes ravis d'appeler vous famille." (*He loved you very much dear. you are a breath of fresh air for this family and the coven. We are delighted to call you family.)

"I am happy to be apart of your family also." I sniffled again trying hard not to cry.

"Take care of each other, chere. you two will do just fine as long as you have each other." nicole kissed my cheek then Marqs as she turned around and left the room.

"Okay so now thats all that covered we will let you two have so time alone." Marq said taking my hand and walking out.

"Would you like to visit the body one last time alpha before it is set ablaze?" Wyetha asked before we closed the door.

I just nodded to Marq then he told her he would let her know when we were finished.

Taking a deep breath we stepped into the room that held Dashs body. Seeing his lifeless body laying on that cold table had my emotions in turmoil. He deserved the best treatment with soft comfortable cloths covering him.

"It's okay chere. It is part of the cleansing ritual. His body is now ready to join his soul. The surroundings matter not at this point. You can go to his side of you feel the need." Marq explained.

"No, I think I want to remember him full of life and energy, not like this." turning into his chest I tried blocking out the pale body that was laid out on the steel table.

"Okay love let's go home then." he gently lifted me up and carried me to our room where he showed me how much he needed me and I showed him how much I loved him. Together we will push through the heartache and always keep Dashs memory alive.
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