South Park x Reader One Shots

The List (Kyle x Reader)

"I'm hotter than you, Kahl! Take that Kahl!"

Kyle refused to show any emotion while looking at the giant list taped to the bathroom wall.

The girls at school had gotten together to rank all the senior boys by how hot they were.

Kyle's friends were all in the top ten except him.

Kyle was at the very bottom making him the ugliest senior in South Park High.

It was true, Cartman was above him in second to last place. The girls think that fat fuck was at least a little more attractive than him.

He felt a lump in his throat and embarrassment that everyone could see it. All the girls knew it and now, all the boys knew it too. He felt like he was going to be sick but everyone was in the bathroom right now and he couldn't risk letting anyone know how much it affected him.

"Hey man," Stan tried to comfort him, "It's just a stupid list. I bet they just made it as a joke."

Making it as a joke would be worse. That meant that even in their jokes he was still unattractive.

"It's no big deal. My confidence isn't based on looks."

A lot of it was.

Stan beamed, "That's the spirit!"

He felt like punching that self-satisfying pity right off Stan's face. He was glad he couldn't hear anything Kenny said because it might have been worse.

"I can't be late for dinner so don't wait up for me," as soon as Kyle was out of view he ran all the way home.

...

"Which one of you left the list unattended?!" Bebe shouted.

Nelly piped up, "I only had my back turned for a minute I swear!"

Bebe rolled her eyes, "Oh well, what's done is done."

Something about releasing that list felt wrong to you. It felt almost personal and intimate. The list should've been locked away.

Even though it was a collaborative effort, not every girl agreed on who should be at the top of the list. It should have never been made in the first place.

Personally, you voted Kyle as number one and Cartman last, but not every girl agreed with you. Now you felt as if the boys thought this opinion was true for every girl.

"I agree with Y/N." Wendy stood next to you, "I think we should retract it."

"There's nothing we can do about it now."

Kyle

Kyle's parents tried to reassure him that he didn't look bad but it didn't work. They were biased, and as much as he respected his father, he hoped he'd never end up looking like him.

He shoved his face into a pillow and screamed. Y/N was his longtime crush and he was only just working up the nerve to talk to her this week but after this?

He was almost glad the list came out, that way he knew where he stood and wouldn't have embarrassed himself, or her for that matter, by being asked out by the ugliest boy in school.

Ugliest boy.

Tears threatened his eyes again. He knew that years from now high school wouldn't matter anymore and things would change, but he couldn't fast forward. For now, he was stuck in an echo chamber of hate.

...

"Hey Kyle,"

He closed the door to his locker and almost lost his footing when he saw that it was Y/N talking to him.