South Park x Reader One Shots

Ze Mole (Christophe x Reader)

Christophe took a long drag off his cigarette looking down at the fortress from his lookout point. It was his job to infiltrate Y/N's base and gain access to the secret files within.

He was one of France's top spies and came highly recommended in all the countries that didn't have bounties on him. Which only left France and America...

He had confidence he would pull one over on 'zem'.

He stood at the mouth of the tunnel he had dug that would bypass the gate and guard dogs, leading him straight into the heart of her organization.

He brought his communication watch to his mouth and spoke in his heavily French accent.

"Ze tunnel is prepared and I am going in. If there are signs of danger alert me on zis watch. We rendez vous at midnight."

He takes another drag off his cigarette and squints at the structure.

"Vive la Résistance."

...

Many men have died at your hands in an attempt to capture the files.

Your informant on the inside relayed to you that a spy was on its way tonight and you were more than ready.

You sneak around the side of the building, and the overwhelming aroma of cigarettes gives him away.

The spy must be right around this corner.

You lay flat against the wall waiting for him to turn the corner. He gasps as he finds he's been caught.

"Sheet!" he curses.

Your fist slowly connects with his face, knocking him out.

...

The mercenary's hair was messy and had dark bags under his eyes suggesting this plan had long been pre-meditated. Based on the crows' feet near his eyes, he'd been through a lot in his short lifetime.

The shovel strapped to his back and fingerless gloves showed he was ready to escape at a moment's notice.

You admired ruthless dedication in a man. Hell, if he weren't your enemy you might have even gone on a date or two with him.

You drag him down to the damp dark basement and make sure to remove any accessories or weapons on him and strip him down to his underwear, searching for other tracking devices. You bind his ankles and hang him by his wrists on the wall.

You slap his face and he jolts awake.

"Ah! The infamous Mole! Your reputation proceeds you."

"Release me you little beech!"

He has a big bruise on his right eye and a split lip.

"Not likely," you pace the room, "I can't let you go now that you've been inside our base."

"I speet on you! I would never betray my clients, you will just have to kill me!"

"Kill you?" You pull out one of his cigarettes from his pocket on the table and light it, "I think I'll do something much worse."

You lean into him blowing smoke in his face, "I'll interrogate you."

He laughed, overly confident, "Ha! You think I haven't been interrogated before? I've been waterboarded, hung by my thumbs, bones broken, nothing will work on me!"

"Oh?" You pull out a knife, "I doubt you've ever been interrogated like this before"

Christophe