South Park x Reader One Shots

Worst Roommate (Scott Tenorman x Reader)

Scott Tenorman was a bully.

More specifically, your ex bully who single-handedly ruined your high school experience and is currently ruining your 20s.

When you saw the listing 'Roommate Wanted,' you never expected it to be him. As soon as he first opened the door, you thought about bolting. But the housing market was insane right now, and he was the only person offering rent in your price range.

Scott stood in the doorway looking like he had just rolled out of bed, and looked you up and down. In his deep morning voice he broke the silence, "What the hell are you doing here?"

Leaning against the doorframe, he crossed his muscular arms over his toned body, which his Radiohead shirt seemed to conform to. "Don't you have some (embarrassing thing you do) to do?"

You try your best not to look at his sweatpants. "Wow, I see you're still an asshole."

"I think it's the proper response to someone standing in my doorway."

You roll your eyes and show him your phone, "I'm here for the roommate listing."

He laughs a little too loudly, "You think I'm going to let you live with me? You've got to be shitting me right now!"

You weren't even in the door and he was already getting on your nerves. "You posted that six months ago," You make a show of looking around the empty hallway,  "And I don't see anyone else lining up to live with you."

His eyes narrowed at you, his red hair falling over them, dark and looming. You had successfully called his bluff.

"Fine." He hesitantly opened the door for you, "But I have rules about what girly shit you put on the walls, this is my apartment don't forget!"

Scott

God, she's so fucking annoying.

It had been two months since Y/N had moved in and she was taking over his space in the most pest-like way.

She had thrown his empty decorative bottles of alcohol on the counter away mistaking them for trash and was constantly moving the living room blankets around, folding them and putting them away before he got back home from work.

It was enough for him to have almost daily fights with her. He preferred his bachelor pad the way it was- messy, where he knew everything was.

On top of that, she was always walking around in yoga shorts and an oversized T-shirt which was...distracting, to say the least. But mostly annoying since he'd rather eat pubes than think of her nerdy-ass romantically.

Scott opened the fridge to see she had bought groceries and still being sore about her throwing out his week-old Shitty Wok takeout box, dumped the container of (your fav drink) down the sink.

He knew he'd get chewed out for it later but didn't really care. It was worth it to see that cute little angry face she made while looking up at him during their arguments. She would always try to straighten her stance to make herself look taller but he was much much taller than her so it only made her attempts to seem imposing, futile.

Wait. No. She's not cute. She's annoying. An invasion of space, yeah, that's it. 

Scott sighed in frustration and sat down on the living room couch putting his headset on grabbed his controller and hopped onto the game with the boys.

"Wat up fags, I'm back."

"Fuck yeah!" Kevin yelled, "We got Tenorman back! We are gonna kick ass in this next lobby!"