South Park x Reader One Shots

Opposites Attract (Goth Pete x Reader)

"Fucking conformist assholes. Look at them running their rat race lives." Michael rolls his eyes.

"Cheerleader bitches." Henrietta adds.

Pete would normally agree with them, and for the most part, still does, but there was one preppy girl that he didn't feel apathetic about.

Y/N.

Y/N had occupied Pete's mind for a while now. She had been cheer captain all through high school and Pete had developed a crush on her. She had the kind of sweet seduction that lured him in.

But crushes were for posers. And she'd never give the goth guy a chance. What would they even talk about?

Pete exhaled his smoke. They were currently loitering in front of Raisins which she just so happened to work at. It was his idea to loiter here so he could steal casual glances at her through the window.

He was jealous not just of the big macho guys she was always around, but that they were the type of guys she belonged with.

He looked down at his purple creepers. He was the complete opposite. He couldn't change who he was even if he tried. Outside his gothic wardrobe, he was just 'the dude with the pockmarks on his face'. Even on the inside, he was more into poetry than sports.

He doubted even a ritual to the dark lord Cthulhu could bring them together.

"You know what we should do." Henrietta folded her arms, "We should go in there and ruin their night."

"That would put a damper on their happy parades," Michael said.

Pete flipped his hair out of his face trying to act casual, "No, guys I think that's a bad idea. It's not our scene and it's uh, it's too preppy inside."

"Duh," She pushed him aside, "that's the whole point."

Michael put his cigarette out, "Come on Pete, let's show those conformists what true angst looks like."

His heartbeat increased and he felt wildly uncomfortable for a multitude of reasons. Raisins was very bright and loud inside with TVs blaring sports games and men shouting over each other.

A ditzy blonde greeted them at the door. Well, it was less of a greeting and more like a brief cringe, but her straining faux smile quickly returned.

"Heyyy guys! I'm Mercedes! Table for three?"

Henrietta rolled her eyes, "Obviously."

Mercedes lead them to a table with high barstools, "Your server will be right with you okayyy!"

God please don't let it be Y/N.

"Hey guys! Welcome to Raisins! I'm Y/N, can I start you guys off with some drinks?"

Michael waved his hand disinterested, "I'll have some coffee."

"I'm sorry we don't serve coffee here. I can get you some pale ale if you're looking for something bitter?"

"How about the blood of the innocent? Or do you not carry that either?"

Pete wanted to wring Henrietta's neck for putting Y/N on the spot like that.

She scribbled on her notepad, "Two pale ales got it."

Pete thought he would pass out when Y/N placed her hand on his shoulder, "And you?"

He froze up, unable to speak. Her chest was practically in his face and he could feel himself getting hard.

Running out of patience, Michael ordered for him, "He'll have the same."