South Park x Reader One Shots

Academic Rivals (Kyle x Reader)

Kyle sighed. His over-zealous Professor, Richard Dawkins was assigning extra credit to those willing to visit the South Park Natural History Museum and write a short essay on any science exhibit of their choice. He knew Y/N would be there, she'd never pass up an opportunity to further her marks.

Y/N and Kyle's academic rivalry began during the first semester at South Park University through their shared course. They were toe to toe in scores and worked hard to outdo one another to stay on top.

Y/N was smart. Really smart. And it frustrated him to no end.

Her beauty hadn't gone unnoticed by Kyle, but his interactions with her stayed exclusively in the lecture hall, keeping her at a distance so she wouldn't become a distraction. Being attracted to his rival was out of the question.

Kyle exited out of his schoolwork tabs and pulled up an adult website, typing in 'Hot (your hair color) gets fucked in the library' and started to relieve his stress.

...

You're sitting by the door waiting to get picked up by your best friend Wendy. She wanted to get a group going to carpool to the museum together.

Wendy 🫶🏻 : heyy sorry im a lil late we were picking up tolkiens friend too

Y/N 💕 : who?

Wendy 🫶🏻 : ull see 😉

Wendy 🫶🏻 : ill be there in 10 so be ready

...

The car door opens and you freeze for a moment. Staring back at you was the pretentious redhead from your course, Kyle Broflovski. He looked equally shocked to see you.

Kyle was one of those guys who always expected to win and you were growing tired of his arrogance. In contrast to his attitude, he was quite handsome. His intense eyes sent electricity racing down your spine and his hair bounced with every movement, it was such a unique shade...

"Really Tolkien?" Kyle gave his friend in the front seat a death glare.

"That's so fucking rude I'm right here!"

Stan leaned forward. "Whoah, chill out guys!"

"Yeah it's not that big of a deal," Craig mumbled, not looking up from his game of Phone Destroyer.

"Wendy, where am I supposed to sit? All the seats are taken?"

"You can sit in the middle. On Kyle's lap."

You keep your cool unwilling to overreact, unlike Kyle.

"What!? No way!"

"Kyle," Tolkien sighed pinching the bridge of his nose, "don't be difficult it's just a twenty-minute drive."

He pouted as you climbed over Craig and took a seat in his lap. You made sure to drop your full weight on him when you sit down to piss him off. The anger radiating off him was palpable.

"So guys," Wendy attempted to break the ice, "Professor Dawkins' assignment yesterday was pretty tough huh?"

"Not really." You and Kyle say in unison.

The whole car rolls their eyes.

"Okay then, let's quiz you, how many different kinds of Legionella bacteria species are there?"

Kyle blurts out confidently. "Forty-eight known"

You giggle, "That's not the answer. It's fifty- eight."