South Park x Reader One Shots

Ritual (Damien x Reader)

"Did it jiggle when you fell from heaven?"

"Fuck off, Clyde."

Another day, another guy hitting on you in an attempt to get in your pants. You were beginning to feel numb to every encounter you had lately. Nothing and nobody was doing it for you. You couldn't remember the last orgasm you had.

"Jesus, fine." He said defending his ego, "I'll take one Tegridy burger to go."

You quickly hand over his order, eager for this interaction to be over.

...

"Working for Mr. Marsh is rotting you from the inside out." Pete says taking a drag off his cigarette, "You should quit."

"I can't just quit. I need the money, besides it's the people that are the problem, it's the awkward advances. What about me screams 'please fuck me now'?"

The boys blush and keep quiet while Henrietta continues scribbling in her diary.

Before you get in your car to leave, she pulls you aside."I know what you're going through. I've been there before and it fucking sucks, but you need to try this."

She hands you a torn piece of notebook paper, "changed my life."

You accept the paper and do a double take, "How to summon an Incubus? What does that mean?"

"It means you're gonna get fucking laid if you follow the instructions. Summoning a male demon is possible if you do it right."

...

You felt a little weird doing the spell but you were on your last nerve and needed an orgasm that wouldn't result in regret the morning after.

You sit on the floor with your legs crossed and play some binaural beats through your headphones. The haunting tune is all-encompassing and blocks out the rest of the world. It's just you and the promise of the supernatural.

You place a candle atop a ceramic dish and light it to begin the ritual. The glow of the flame against the darkness of the room entrances you.

As per Henrietta's instructions, you write a letter of intent to Lilith, the mother of all succubi, requesting that she send one of her sons to pay you a visit. You write in detail about your dry spell and all the ways you want to be pleased. You blush at the graphic details but take comfort in the fact that it will remain private.

You check Henrietta's instructions again. This was the part you weren't looking forward to. She made it very important in the note that blood is how a demon recognizes your name and person. Taking a deep breath, you prick the bottom of your finger with a sewing needle and allow no less than five drops of blood to soak into the letter. Once the blood settles, you set the letter alight with the candle.

Henrietta had let you know that Incubi are visually determined by the summoner's imagination and you focus on your dream guy. He would have smooth porcelain skin, wild dark hair, and piercing eyes that could give you goosebumps. You didn't want a regular man, you were sick of those, you wanted a man of high standing and the cockiness that comes with it.

You lay in bed and close your eyes. The notes made it clear that you must remain still for the entirety of the spell and only move if asked to. Preparing to enter the closest thing to a trance that you can manage, you meditate on the sensation of being touched.

You were on the brink of sleep when you felt it on your inner thigh. It was a touch so soft you almost wrote it off as your imagination. Almost.

You continue to lie perfectly still and the touch grows firmer, more corporeal. You feel two hands on the inside of your thighs, parting them.

It wasn't some twisted creature or a little red man with horns, it was him. Your demon's hellish crimson eyes and sharp-toothed smile were the only indicators that he wasn't human. He looked exactly like he did in your imagination.