South Park x Reader One Shots

Pirate's Life (Kenny x Reader)

You make sure to tuck all your hair into your hat and wear a loose blouse to hide your bound chest, making a mental note to limit your talking to better preserve your voice.

You longed to escape your tiny village and explore the world on the high seas and were excited to hear the rumors that a pirate and his crew were ashore at the local tavern tonight looking for new members.

The Bastard was a ship captained by the notorious pirate, Captain Kenny McCormick. After his predecessor, Cartman, ran the ship into disrepair McCormick was elected the new Captain and left Cartman behind in Somalia.

Women were considered 'bad luck' on a ship and disguising yourself as a boy was your only chance to join. The tavern was enveloped in low lighting from the candle-lit lanterns, and the patrons were rough-housing, yelling, and spilling drinks everywhere. You manage to slip past them and make your way to Kenny sitting alone at a small wooden table and state your name and business.

"Y/N huh?" Kenny leans back in his seat with a mug of mead in his hand, the picture of a leisurely scoundrel. "So, why should I let you on my ship?"

He looked much more attractive than the drawings on his 'Wanted' posters. His blonde hair was shaggy, he was missing a tooth and wore several rings in his pierced ears. His orange blouse exposed his chest slightly and the several tattoos beneath. It was all you could do to keep from staring.

You deepen your voice, "I know my way around a ship sir, I have experience as a deckhand."

That wasn't a total lie, you did spend the summer on a fishing boat but it wasn't nearly as large as The Bastard.

"I want to explore the world."

He raises his eyebrow, the glow of the flame illuminating his face sensually. "Not everyone is cut out for this life."

"We'll be at sea for many weeks at a time and rarely go ashore." He sips on his mead, "It can be a long time before you see a woman. Can you handle that?"

"Yes sir!"

He flashes his gap tooth smile and stands up patting you roughly on the back of your shoulder, "Welcome to the crew. We set sail at dawn."

Kenny

There was something off about the new deckhand.

Since the boy came aboard, Kenny noticed some strange things. He didn't seem to grow stubble on his chin, which he claimed to shave every day. He was hit in the groin by a loose pole and didn't flinch. And he strained to do his job for several days at a time once a month. All of this could be chalked up to some kind of excuse but there was one other thing.

He smelled different. After months at sea, everyone started to smell stale but this boy had a naturally feminine scent to him.

Kenny ached thinking about women. He hadn't had enough time to get a prostitute at the last stop and was cursing himself for it.

The next woman I see I'm gonna fuck mercilessly.

Kenny retired to his quarters to relieve himself. His imagination had gotten good throughout his lifetime as a pirate but lately, it was getting sullied by the scent of the new deckhand.

...

You were beginning to see what Kenny meant by how frustrating being a pirate can be. You'd been so incredibly aroused lately, surrounded by hardworking men and it was starting to get to you. At times you even felt yourself clench with need when Kenny was close to you.

He's a murderer! He's a thief! He's done all kinds of horrible things. He's disgusting.

You dismiss him which raises a new problem. What would happen when you went a shore and you were the only one not soliciting a lady of the night? Were you content with never having a man in your life in order to keep up the ruse?