South Park x Reader One Shots

Goddess (Incan Craig x Reader)

The village was in need of a sacrifice. The calendar had foretold a pure woman would stumble upon them and her blood would bring a hundred years of peace to the village.

Warrior Craig was on the hunt for her.

...

You were lost in the fertile green mountainside amongst the mist. You had been shunned from your family for being different and were barely surviving, desperate to find any sort of civilization.

After making your way deep into the valley you hear footsteps. Excited and relieved to encounter another human, you emerge. "Help! Help I'm lost, can you tell me where I am?"

The man was extremely handsome. He had on a gold feathered headdress with blue accents and a tunic. His hair was as dark as the night and seemed to have a permanent scowl. He grips his spear defensively and lowers it upon seeing you. His eyes search you looking on with curiosity.

"Can you understand me?"

He nodded. You could guess he didn't speak much.

"Can you take me to your village? I won't stay long I swear. I just need to rest and maybe get some food."

"Where did you come from." He said monotone.

"I was left behind. But I promise I'm no trouble!"

He didn't look concerned about your behavior. He was still looking you over. "Virgin?"

You're taken aback at the bold question but you figure you needed to establish trust if he was to bring you to his village.

"Yes."

He looks way too excited about that and leads you north to his village.

Craig

Craig had found the fabled pure woman of the mountains. He was sure to be greatly rewarded for bringing happiness to his village, but as he walked with her, the riches seemed less and less appealing.

The beautiful woman did her best to keep up with Craig's fast walking. Through labored breathing, she asked, "What's your name?"

"Craig."

"I'm Y/N, so uh, what were you doing out here?"

Craig caught her out of the corner of his vision, "hunting."

He wasn't big on talking and spent the rest of the walk in silence. At the crest of the mountain, he looked down at his massive village and led her down the hidden backway. He didn't know why he was sneaking around. It was as if the gods had slowly begun unfreezing his heart giving him an odd attraction to her.

He looked to his left and right before ushering her into his small stone block house. There was nothing inside but rugs on the floor leaving it stark and the walls bare. She looked around and sat on the floor as he paced the room.

He never hesitated with sacrifices before, but then again, they were never beautiful women. He should be rushing her to the emperor by now but decided to hide her just for a while until he was able to clear his mind.

"Stay here," he said sternly, "I'll be back when the sun goes down."

She nodded, picking up on how crucial it was that she stay hidden.

...

"Did you hear," warrior Stan stood by his side back on the hunt with him.

"The emperor says he can feel the presence of the pure woman nearby, do you think she's close?"

Craig's heart raced. His clairvoyant leader had never spoken a lie in his life. He couldn't fathom what would happen if he was discovered to be hiding her. She should be on the stone altar right now but something in him couldn't bring himself to do it.