That One Letter. Larissa Weems x Reader

Chapter 42- Bad People

   It was just like any other day at work. You were selling books, tidying up the store, and bothering Margie when there were no shoppers in the store. The only exciting thing that kept you pushing forward with the day was Larissa and the image she had sent you in the morning.

   She had sent you a photo of her standing right in front of the mirror just in a dark red lingerie set. It wasn't anything too revealing but it sure made some butterflies appear in your tummy. The fact that Larissa sent this image to you without a warning and without any context made you want her even more. Whenever you got bored at work you would just open up the image on your phone and look at it, observing every little detail about Larissa and that lingerie, wondering where she got such a nice set because you had always wanted to buy one for yourself as well, but none of the ones you had tried on compared to what Larissa had on and how good she looked in it.

   So while you were floating in your own world of emotions while looking at the photo and waiting for the clock to hit 6 pm you hadn't noticed someone enter the store. You only got snapped back to reality only when you heard a book slam against the counter and when you lifted your eyes off the screen you saw a group of teenage boys across from you. "Will this be everything?" You asked the blonde boy who seemed to be the one buying the book. He quickly turned to his friend, and giggled about something before turning back to face you, "Yes." The attitude that this whole friend group was giving was strange and you didn't like the way some of the boys looked at you with a judged full almost disgusted look.

   As you were minding your business, pressing some buttons on the cash register the blonde boy said: "You know it is not that hard to put some make-up on..." and as soon as he said it the other boys started giggling and laughing behind him. "Excuse me?" You didn't quite get what this boy meant by this. "You don't get it?" It looked like the blonde boy was on the verge of laughter as well, but he was trying his best to look serious and continued speaking, "No one wants to look at this." He pointed to your face with his finger making an unpleasant knot appear in your stomach.

   "Then why are you looking?" You replied with a little comeback making the other boys gasp from their slight disbelief. For a second that boy didn't know what to say as if you had hit him right off his tracks or his script. "Well, I-be happy that someone is looking at you! Enjoy it while you can." He stood back up straight and that is when you figured that this had to be some kind of sick joke. "I don't need for you to look at me. I get plenty of attention." "Yea right...from who? Your imaginary friend?" And again the boys behind started whispering and giggling while looking at you. "No...my partner." You couldn't deny that even tho this was some kind of sick joke it still made you start to feel shitty.

   "Then your partner is blind! I feel bad for them...They are probably dating you because they feel sorry." "I-I think you should leave...all of you." You tried to not let this boy's words get into your head and ruin everything but they still managed to find their way anyways now making you want to cry even tho you knew you shouldn't take this seriously.  "Okay, okay...we will leave..." He defensively stepped back before turning away already heading for the exit. But before he could leave, you noticed that he forgot his book so to still at least attempt to be kind you said:  ''You left your book." The boy immediately stopped turned his face ever so slightly in your direction and said: "Oh...keep it...I bought it just for you." And finally, he started hysterically laughing before exiting the store.

   You finally looked at the book and the title read, "How to be more beautiful" and this made you feel sick to your stomach. You for sure knew this was complete satire but still, somehow the words managed to take a toll on you.

   The words "Then your partner is blind! I feel bad for them...They are probably dating you because they feel sorry," were repeating in your head non-stop. Was Larissa actually dating you because she felt bad? Were you actually ugly and the boy wasn't lying? All these thoughts made you start to hate yourself. Your whole life you had always struggled with the way you looked, but since getting away from home you had built yourself some confidence that you thought was stable, but when a little tiny crack appeared in these foundations, everything came crashing down, and just like that you were back at zero.

   For a little while you tried to ignore the book that was sitting on the countertop, but because you had nothing better to do you picked it up, sat down on the floor, and started reading it. You thought that this book would maybe help you rebuild your confidence but as you kept reading, there weren't many tips on how to become more beautiful as the title said, instead there were more things that pointed out some flaws that made women look unpleasant. This book wasn't any help at all but at the same time you couldn't stop reading it, you needed to know what else was wrong with you, and as you were reading it tears started rolling down your cheeks. You had completely torn yourself apart.

   You quietly cried so Margie won't hear you, you even didn't care that it was already past 6 pm and you could go home, you didn't have any willpower to do anything, especially with the evil thoughts, that there was a chance Larissa didn't romantically like you. "Am I really ugly?" You asked yourself constantly. You knew you shouldn't have made such a big deal out of this because the boys were clearly joking, but somehow you still managed to take this to your heart.

   You heard the store's doors open and as you were about to say that the shop was closed you heard: "Y/n?" It was Larissa who had entered the store. At first, she was skeptical to find you here but when she came in and saw your phone on the counter top she knew you had to be around here somewhere. Immediately you tried to wipe your tears off your face but it was no use as Larissa with the help of her height could easily see what was going on behind the counter on the floor.

   "Y/n? What's wrong why are you crying dear?" She immediately found her way around the counter and before you knew it she was already crouched down next to you. "Am I ugly?" You looked at her, and now you for sure knew you weren't too pretty, your face was puffy from the crying, eyes red as if you were high, mascara running down your cheeks, and you were a total mess sitting on the floor. "Honey...why would you think that? You're beautiful...even when crying." She placed both of her hands on your cheeks and wiped the tires off your face. "Some guy told me I was ugly." Just saying it out loud made you want to cry even more. "Oh sweetie...and you listened to him." "Mhm..." You hummed as you lowered your head down to escape Larissa's caring eyes.

   "But you're beautiful..." ''How do you even like me? You? Such a beautiful woman liking me? That is absurd!" You quickly grabbed your phone and pulled up the image she had sent you, "Look at you! You're so fucking beautiful! But me? I am nothing compared to you." You felt hysterical because these types of words had never come out of your mouth ever. Larissa just looked at herself in the image before taking the phone out of your hand and turning it off. "Okay...listen to me...you're just as beautiful to me as I'm to you...understood. Now come on let's go...I can't stand seeing you sit on that filthy floor." She gently took your arm into hers and pulled you up making the book, about becoming beautiful, fall out of your lap.

   "What is that?" Larissa was quick with her actions and before you knew it she was already picking the book up from the floor. "It's nothing." You tried to take it away from her so she won't see how seriously you took this situation. " 'How to be more beautiful'?" She read the title out loud before lifting her eyes off it to look at you with a little bit disappointed look. "Y/n? Did you pick it off the shelf?" "No...the guy bought it and said I needed it so..." "You don't need this book, you're more than beautiful." When she saw you trying to grab the book out of her hands she immediately put it in her purse to get it out of your sight.

   "Now...come on...would you like to come over? Have a little chat about this." Larissa wanted to get to the bottom of this, to know how she can help fix this and make you feel better. "I would love that Larissa, but I have to go feel Shelby, he waits for me to get home every single day so I can give him his dinner." Sometimes Shelby did come in between you and Larissa's relationship because now you had to take care of him so he won't die from starvation. "Alright, then let's go feed your cat first and then we can continue heading back to my place. How does that sound dear?" She softly wrapped her hand around your waist and pulled you closer to her side. "Okay..." And how much Larissa made you feel safe and comfortable in her embrace, you still weren't able to let go of the thought that you weren't worthy enough for her.

   Back at your place you quickly gave Shelby some food and poured some extra dry food in case you spent the night at Larissa. Almost all the time you quickly ran around the apartment finishing some little tasks Larissa didn't leave your side. Allmkst most of the time she found a way to give you small kisses on your lips to try to ease you up a little, but it didn't seem to be quite working because even tho you wanted to kiss her back most of the time you pulled yourself away from the sudden kisses because you had a feeling Larissa only did this out of guilt.  But in reality, Larissa was trying to give you this affection and attention because she wanted you to know that she loved you and wasn't playing sick games with your feelings.