rizzles one shots <3

its okay now

"There, are you happy now?" Jane yelled. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. In Mauras kitchen, angry, screaming, none of this was in either of their fantasies.
"Happy? Are you fucking kidding me Jane? Why on earth would this make me happy"
"You wanted me to kiss you!"
"No! No I wanted you to want to kiss me. I didn't want your pity, I don't want you to do it because its easy! I want you to want me Jane why is that so hard?" Maura sobbed.

"Maura. Thats- No. It's not pity! Its not anything like that!"
"Than what is it Jane? You feel bad? You cant just admit that you're in love with me, and we are supposed to spend our lives together!"
"I am! I'm so in love with you Maura! It fucking kills me every single day! Everything I've ever been told is that gay is wrong, women must lay with man, not man with boy. Nothing about this is natural in my head so why does it feel so right in my heart! Why can't I just accept it the same way you can!" Jane was sobbing now too.

"You cant just kiss me though Jane! You cant just, just decide that its okay one minute and then push me away the next. Youre on a cliff, and I'm in the ditch. You have to come down to me Jane! You have to fall down, or you have to step away, you can't just keep hurting me! You cant just-" Maura was heaving, drawing in huge breaths.
"Im sorry" Jane pulled Mauras body into her own.
"It's not enough! Its not!" Maura thumped her fists against Janes chest, screaming at her. "No!" She repeated.

Janes whole body shattered, both at seeing Maura like this, and knowing that she was every bit to blame.

Then a different scream. A scream that rattled through Janes bones as Maura flew back, gripping at the right side of her abdomen.
"Maura?" Janes face contorted into one of worry, tears evaporating as fear took the place of heartbreak on Mauras face.

"Jane!" Maura yelled, voice cracking as she fell to the floor, curling over in agony.
"Maura!" Jane leaned down next to her. "Maura, tell me whats wrong. Where hurts?" Jane asked, frantic.
"My- AH!" Maura gripped her side again. Jane quickly lifted her shirt and pulled her hands away, right as Maura turned her head and threw up all over the wooden floor.
"FUCK!" Jane yelled, dialling 911 and giving them all the information. She was given the instruction to keep Maura on her side, and to try and keep her talking.

"Maura, Maura! Talk to me honey c'mon" Jane begged.
"Dont go..." Maura whimpered in pain, eyes slipping shut. "Love...Jane. Forgive...y"
"No. No, Maura open your eyes. Cmon baby open your eyes, talk to me. Yell at me! Please Maur!" Jane cried, shaking Maura gently. "Maura please say something, stay with me. Please Maura I need you! I need you. I love you Maura. Please wake up!" Jane sobbed, tears falling onto Mauras pale face, as she frantically pushed her hair back off her cheeks.

Jane pulled Mauras limp body into her arms, holding her close. "They're gonna be here soon, and you're gonna be okay. Maura if you can hear me, its going to be okay. We're gonna take care of you, okay?" She smiled sadly. "Please stay with me Maura. Please, I love you. Im so in love with you. Please. I want to be with you. If you wake up I promise you I will spend every moment of my life making it up to you. I want you to be mine Maura. I don't want anybody to ever look at you like they have a chance ever again. Please wake up beautiful, please. Open your pretty eyes Maura. PLEASE!"

_____

"Thank You, Dr Lowden" Jane nodded, sitting back down in the chair next to Mauras hospital bed. She took Mauras soft hand in her own, thumbs drawing patterns on the back on her palm.
"Mm"
"Maura?" Jane whispered, leaning forward and squeezing the blondes hand. "Hey, can you hear me?"
"Jane?" Mauras voice was hoarse from the tube that had just been taken out of her throat an hour ago. "I'm here" Jane nodded, tears welling up in her eyes as they met the deep hazel she had grown to love for the first time in 3 days.
"Wh-" Maura tried to talk.

"It's okay, dont talk" Jane said, pressing a hand to Mauras cheek. "You're in the hospital. You're okay" Jane stressed the last word. "You had a cyst on your ovary. It burst, and it poisoned your blood. They operated, you died twice on the table" The tear rolled down Janes face, and Mauras hand immediately lifted up to catch it, despite the pain she felt in doing so. "You're okay now. They saved your ovary, you're gonna make a full recovery in a month or so" Jane nodded, her eyes refusing to meet Mauras now that she was crying. "Maura I'm so sorry. Im so so sorry that...Everything. I do love you. And I'm sorry that I hurt you. Im sorry that it took you literally dying for me to admit it, but I just-"

"Shhh" Maura whispered, thumb stroking Janes cheek. "None of that matters now" She rasped out. "I heard you. That night. I heard what you said. I want to spend forever with you Jane, as long as you want to spend it with me, because its what you want"
"Of course it's what I want. I want you, Maura, I want you in the morning, and in the evening, in the important moments and the mundane ones. I want us" Janes eyes finally met Janes. "I don't care any more. Love isn't defined by gender. Love is defined by you, and me" Jane said.

"I love you, Maura. I love you so much, and I will prove that to you every day, if you will let me"
"I'll have to think about it" Maura closed her eyes. Janes face was overcome with worry but then Maura squeezed her hand and met her eyes once again. "I thought about it. I want it" Maura nodded, biting back the massive grin that threatened to spread across her face. "I want you"
"You're a nightmare" Jane blew out a breath, clearly only joking.
"I'm your dream, Rizzoli, and you know it"
"I want to kiss you"
"So kiss me" Maura whispered.

Jane leaned down and captured Mauras bottom lip between her own, hands holding cheeks and playing with soft curls.
"I love you" She whispered into Mauras mouth. "And I'm so sorry if I ever made you think otherwise"
"Not for one moment, I always knew you love me. I just needed to die for you to see it" Maura laughed lightly, eyes blinking closed.
"Sleep, sweetheart. I'll be here when you wake up"
"Stay?"
"Im staying right here" Jane sat back down and drew patterns on Mauras arm.
"You're right here"
"Im here"