rizzles one shots <3

consumed

3 days. 72 hours, 4320 minutes, 259200 seconds. And in all that time it feels like her heart hasn't given out a single beat. It feels like time, and her heart, and her life stopped, at the same time his did.

The hunger pains in her stomach were barely noticeable over the aching in her heart. She wanted the world to stop, and now it has.

She didn't notice the key turn in the lock, or the sound of high heeled footsteps approaching her bedroom.

"Hey" Mauras voice pierced the silence that had become comforting to Jane. It was gentle, calming, and it made Jane want to cry, and so she did. Hot, blinding tears welled up her eyes, falling down her face as she lay on her side, curled up in a ball, in the same position she had been in for the past three days.

Maura didn't speak, she simply slipped her shoes off, and made her way over to the bed. She crawled into the covers, pushing her body up against Janes trembling one. She wrapped an arm over Janes waist, her warmth penetrating Janes cold, shaking body.

"Go away Maura" Jane croaked. Her voice shocked her a little, between the sobs and the lack of water and use, it sounded foreign.
"No" Maura said simply.
"Maura I don't want you here!" She tried to shout but it just caused her voice to crack. She didn't make any effort to move away from Maura though.

"Yes you do, Jane. You want me here. But you're vulnerable right now, and you hate to be vulnerable in front of people and thats what you don't want, you don't want me to see you so fragile. But don't you think that if I know you that well, then I'm not going to judge you for being vulnerable?" Maura spoke slowly. "So no, I'm not leaving Jane. You can hit me, you can hurt me, you can call me every name under the sun. I won't leave."

"I don't know how to live without him, Maura" Jane whispered.
"I know. You'll learn, though. Things will never be quite the same but you will learn a new normal, and he will still be there, in the pictures, in the wind, in the sunsets and the motorcycles and the Sunday dinners. He's everywhere Jane" Maura felt her own eyes well up.

She had began to process, in the three days since it had happened, she had allowed Jane her space and promised herself that if she hadn't heard from her after three days, she would interfere.

"My little brother is dead, Maura" Jane sobbed, finally allowing all the pain to manifest.
"I know, sweetheart. I know, and I am so, so sorry that I can't make him come back. But you have to keep going, you have to live with the pain, until the pain lives with you. Okay? You have to let me help you Jane because I won't sit back and watch grief eat you alive. I don't care if you grow to resent me, I wont let you lose yourself, I wont."

They didn't speak for a while after that. Maura just kept Jane close and let her cry it out, until the cries subsided and Jane just shivered in her ams.

"You need to eat something Jane" Maura said softly, not accusatory, not demanding, more of a suggestion. "Will you eat something? Anything you want" No response. "Okay, you need to feel a little more human first, you need to shower, and change. Open some curtains, and eat something" Her voice was still gentle.

Jane still didn't respond, so Maura decided to give her a little push in the right direction.
"Come on, darling" She pulled away from Jane, who felt immediately cold to the bone.

Maura moved round to Janes side of the bed, kneeling in front of her. It was the first proper look she had gotten at Janes face since the crash, her complexion appeared pale, cheeks swollen with red and purple splotches dotted around her face. Her eyes were red rimmed, glistening with unshed tears, they'd sunken in a little under the puffiness from her tears. Maura placed her left hand on Janes right cheek, her thumb swiping over her cheekbone.

Jane didn't look at her though, she looked right through her.
"I'm going to take you to the shower okay? I'm going to help you clean yourself up. And then we're gonna get you into some clean sweats, and then we're gonna tidy up, and you're gonna have something to eat. Okay?" Jane didn't protest. She blinked at Maura and nodded her head so slightly that Maura didn't know if she had made it up.

Maura went and turned the shower on, allowing it to heat up, then she placed clean towels in the bathroom. She picked out some sweatpants and a tshirt for Jane, and placed them on the radiator to heat them up. The cold Boston winter was setting in and Jane hadn't left her bed, so the apartment had a harsh chill to it. Maura switched on the head, and then undressed, wrapping herself in a towel, before walking back into the bedroom to get Jane.

"Jane, I'm going to get in the shower with you okay? I want you to feel comfortable, if you're going to be vulnerable with me then I shall do the same" Maura said, in that same soft tone that seemed to wrap itself around Jane like a blanket, and make her want yo do anything the blonde asked. Jane nodded again and Maura stood back up to full height, leaning over to pull the covers off of Janes body. She then helped her to undress, and wrapped a towel around her to preserve some of her dignity. "Can you walk?" Maura asked, wanting Jane to feel in control of her choices. Jane nodded and slowly slipped out of bed, Maura gently took her hands and walked backwards towards the bathroom.

Once they were there they lost the towels and stepped into the fairly large shower. Maura gently massaged the shampoo into Janes hair, before taking the shower head off of the hook and rinsing it out, then repeating with conditioner. While Jane slowly washed her body, Maura washed her own hair, and then her body, then turned back to Jane, who was now sat on the floor of the cubicle. Maura bit her lip and shut the water off, stepping out of the shower and wrapping herself in a towel. Then she knelt down to Jane, and wrapped her arms around her, gently tugging her out of the shower.

"Come one, darling. Come on, its okay. Im here" Maura said softly, she had wrapped Jane in a towel and guided her to the edge of the bed. "Im going to get you changed okay sweetheart?" Maura asked. Jane still had that same blank stare.

Once both Maura and Jane were changed, Maura sat Jane up in bed and sat on the edge next to her.
"What would you like to eat? Take out, something home cooked, perhaps something plain like toast would be better. On such an empty stomach something too rich could cause you to feel nauseous and I'm sure thats the last thing you want. Anyway, I digress-"

"You always digress" Jane whispered. Something about her tone made Mauras heart skip a beat, because there was a hint of the old Jane behind it, barely noticeable to anyone that didn't spend as much time with Jane as Maura did. Maura smiled at Jane and for the first time all evening, Jane met Mauras eyes, and let out a small sigh, something of which indicated a small amount of relief washing over Jane.

"I'm gonna go make some toast okay?"
"Ok" Jane croaked. Maura cane back with some toast not 5 minutes later, with plenty of butter on it, just the way Jane liked it.

They sat in bed and ate toast in silence, and then brushed their teeth together, Maura opened a window, closed the curtains, and made the bed, missing the way Jane used to laugh at her for doing that. 'We're literally just about to get in it Maura, its gonna be wrinkled again in seconds.'

They climbed into bed, Jane lay flat on her back, Maura lay facing Jane, propped up on one elbow so she could look at her properly. She reached her free hand up to Janes face, gently pushing a damp curl out of Janes eyes.
"Is there anything else you need?" Maura asked sweetly, gently massaging Janes temple with her thumb.

"D-do you think you could hold me? I t-think I need that right now" Jane whispered.
"Of course. Any time, Jane. Im always gonna be here" Maura turned on her back and pulled Jane into her arms, entangling them both together.
"Please don't go" Jane breathed into Mauras neck.
"Im not going anywhere" Maura spoke. "I promise"

The progress Jane had made today was a huge step, Maura thought to herself, as she held her close. Jane had already fallen asleep, which Maura assumed was because she hadn't slept in the past few days. That only made Maura feel more hopeful, and she stayed true to her promise, not leaving Janes side ever.