rizzles one shots <3

the committment

It had started off like any other Saturday night, Maura and Jane, in front of the sofa. The fire was crackling as the Boston winter infiltrated the air of Mauras Beacon Hill home. Well, Maura and Janes home, it had happened organically, Jane had spent more and more nights sleeping over at Mauras house, firstly in the spare bedroom, at least before the nightmares settled in.

One night Jane had wandered into Mauras bedroom after a particularly bad one, sneaking under the covers and letting the warmth radiating from the blonde remind her that she was okay. The next time, Maura had heard, and she went into the guest bedroom where Jane stayed, and pulled the brunette into her arms, calming and soothing her until she relaxed into Mauras embrace. After that night there was a silent agreement that they would just sleep together in Mauras bed, with aided in staving off the nightmares, and when they did still seep in, Maura pulled Jane close once again until she fell back asleep.

Ever since then, Jane had slowly moved in with Maura, bits and pieces of her home filling Mauras guest room, until everything but herself lived in there, as she lived in Mauras room. Their room. She'd eventually sold her apartment, seeing no need to continue paying the rent, and instead payed some of Mauras bills, much to Mauras dismay, who had insisted Jane didn't need to, so they had compromised.

And now this was their routine. Saturday nights, watching the TV, curled up together in one way or another. Tonight, Maura was lay with her feet up on the couch, head in Janes lap, with one of Janes hands running up and down her hip and waist, the other in Mauras hair, gently raking blunt fingernails across her scalp and around her neck and hairline.

Mauras eyes were slipping closed at the sensation of Janes hands on her, she felt warm and it had nothing to do with the heat coming from the fire in front of them. Janes hand slipped beneath Mauras sweatshirt, which was actually Janes sweatshirt, and she felt warm hands directly on the skin of her waist, her stomach, and when Jane slipped under the waistband of the matching sweatpants, on her hip.

Mauras eyes shut as she let her body give in to the tingling and the warmth that Jane caused her, finally feeling relaxed, full, satisfied. There was nowhere she would rather be, nobody she would rather spend her life with. She would give up everything if it meant that she could keep Jane to herself forever.

—

Jane wasn't focused on the TV, she could only focus on the weight of Maura, resting on her thighs. Just touching fabric wasn't enough, she needed to feel Mauras skin beneath her fingers, feel the warmth and the softness of it. She slipped her fingers beneath the fabric, smiling softly at the comfort of the feel of Mauras body, knowing she had Mauras trust to hold her, and touch her, and love her like this.

She loved this routine they had, the way they coexisted with each other, how well they worked together, professionally and otherwise. She loved how Maura loved her, and took care of her, held her when she needed to be held. The way Maura knew Jane better than Jane knew Jane, and she knew her strengths, her weaknesses, how to protect her and when to let her protect herself. She gave space, but not so much that Jane felt alone. She was Janes person, and Jane was entirely Mauras.

—

"Marry me, Maura" It wasn't so much a question, but a request, a statement, and it pulled Maura from her half asleep state. Maura stayed still for a moment, not in denial, or in disgust, but in fear, that if she moved Jane would take it back, or she would realise that she had imagined it all, and Janes fingers weren't running through her hair, or drawing circles on her body.

Jane wasn't worried when Maura didn't respond, she simply continued to speak.
"I know you feel this too. I know that you know I wouldn't dare touch anybody else like this, we live together, sleep in the same bed. You kiss my head and hold me, and I kiss your cheek and hold you. We do everything together, we always have and somewhere down the line we fell in love. I don't want to spend another minute, knowing that I can't really call you mine. Because you are mine Maura, and I am yours. So marry me, and we can do this properly, be together, kiss each other, have sex, have a family. We can grow old together and be happy and be us"

Maura rolled over so she was lay on her back, Janes hand now resting on the skin of Mauras lower stomach, other hand still in her hair. Jane looked down to see tears slowly slipping down Mauras cheeks, and the most beautiful smile plastered across her face. Maura slowly sat up, with Janes hands on her waist.

She shifted backwards so she was sat across Janes lap, her back against the arm of the sofa, she brought her arms around Janes neck while Janes stayed in place on Mauras waist.
"Firstly, you're right. I do feel it too, yes, I am in love with you, in ways that I cant even imagine. I want to do this too, and I want to love you openly, freely, mutually" Maura brought a hand up to Janes cheek, pulling her closer. "I want to marry you. Yes, Jane, I will marry you" Maura smiled adoringly, pulling Jane the last inch to connect their lips.

About 5 minutes and a few wandering hands, Maura pulled back from Jane, leaning her forehead against Janes.
"I know we are doing this kind of backwards, but I want to take this slowish. I don't want to, rush sex and stuff, I just, I want this to happen as it normally would, only we are engaged, because we will be married" Maura smiled gently. Jane nodded.
"I agree, if we rush it then...I don't know I just think you're right" They both chuckled.

Maura sat back and wrapped herself around Jane, staying close.
"God, I love you so much" Jane laughed, almost surprised. "I can't believe it took us this long"
"We weren't ready" Maura shrugged softly. "We would've messed it up, I would've shut you out, or you would've ran and, well...You know what, none of that matters now, we did it, we made it, I love you, you love me. It feels like we are going to live forever, Jane"
"It does, it really does" Jane laughed, understanding what Maura meant.