Bucky held a big duffle bag with all of his belongings. He put stuff like his toothbrush, toothpaste, cologne, deodorant, some pairs of sweat pants, jeans, t shirts, some normal baggy shirts, long sleeved shirts, shampoo, conditioner, body wash. And a few other things. Raynor told him that she knew Sam wouldn't mind him living at his place, she knew him and buck had kinda a hard time getting along every once in a while, but deep down she knew they loved being around each other, being in each other's presence. Dr Raynor was quiet, she still felt a bit guilty that she didn't know sooner about how bucky was currently coping with himself, she wished she could have noticed sooner, she wished she could have seen the cuts and scars sooner and helped the poor man. She sat in her car waiting patiently for bucky. It took around twenty minutes before he finally came out with a big duffle bag that was dark green. He wore a long sleeved shirt that was grey and some sweat pants that were black, but they were a faded black since the pair of sweats was actually a year old. He walked slowly, really slowly to her car as he was thinking, she could tell he was.
His mind was racing so much that he forgot for a moment that he reached Dr Raynor's car. He wasn't sure if he was up for it, to go to Sam's and live there, he didn't want to be a burden to Sam in anyway. Sam was a good guy that had a good life, he didn't want to make Sam worry about him 24/7 because of his problems. Bucky was shaking, shaking a lot. He was still in shock that Raynor found out about him hurting himself. He thought he was so stupid how he actually forgot to put a damn normal shirt on, a long sleeved shirt on. He only wore short sleeved shirts to bed, it wasn't like someone was going to barge in into his flat, so he'd always think that if he wanted to wear a shirt sleeved shirt he might as well do it when he went to bed since he couldn't do it during the day. He took off his bandage wrap off so Raynor could see how bad it was, it was pretty bad, he needed to take it off anyway due to his wound already healing. He let out a breath that he felt like he's been holding for a while now and opened the car door.
Raynor watched him as he put the duffle bag into the back seat of the car and closed the door softly. He went to the passenger side door and opened it. He slumped his body down onto the seat and closed the door. He reached to his right side and grabbed the seat belt and pulled it over himself and buckled the seat belt with a 'click'. He looked down at his lap for a moment, guilt, anger, sadness washes over him knowing how bad he had hurt Dr Raynor's feeling. He knew she was heart broken to see him in this state, he just didn't understand how his own therapist could care so much, after all, she was just doing it because it was her job to. Something about bucky though she liked, he was a good guy, a really nice guy, he was sweet and gentle. Even though Raynor and him didn't get along that much, they still liked each other in a way, like Buddy's. Bucky liked being around her, but he hated opening up to her, to anyone for that matter, but he's really going to hate opening up to her now knowing that the tension in the room will become awkward and nerve-wracking, for him anyway, she didn't think of it in that way, she really just wanted to know now, to know what was going on with him, what was going through his head all the time. She was going to make sure he doesn't cut himself anymore, and he eats more, she could tell he lost a little bit of weight after so long.
She looked at him and could tell he was nervous being in the car with her, she saw how his hands trembled just a bit, it broke her heart to see him like this. She looked away and sighed, feeling her heart break for the man. She put her key in and started the car. Bucky looked at her for a moment, seeing the hurt in her eyes sent shivers of nervousness throughout his body. He never seen someone so hurt and scared for him, it almost reminded him of the winter soldier when he killed all of those people and the fear and terror in there eyes as they soon layed lifeless, but then something struck him, his eyes dilated with fear and looked at the file that was next to Raynor as they were already at a red light on the road, cars passed as it was there turn to go. He stared at the file, thinking about what stuff it says in it. 'maybe it has stuff explaining what's wrong with me' bucky really quickly snatched the file from next to Raynor. She turned her head to look at him quickly, startled by his sudden behavior. He plopped the file down in his lap and opened it, looking at the words and stuff, stuff explaining what bucky had wrong with him. 'James Barnes, mental health file.
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And Start Over ||SamxBucky||
Fanfictionʕ'• ᴥ•̥'ʔ this includes the falcon and the winter soldier. I didn't include much of the show but. self harm, most chapters/ slight eating disorder/ panic attack's/ suicide mentions but not much/hallucinations, only in one chapter/mature conte...
