And Start Over ||SamxBucky||

(chapter 8 Metal arm)

Sam sat on the couch watching the TV with Sarah. They were watching Friends, here and there laughing and giggling. About two hours ago after bucky crying and all, Sam told him he would leave the room and that bucky should get some rest. Sam wasn't dumb, he could see how tired bucky was, he was absolutely exhausted, and he really was after crying. Bucky went to his duffle bag and grabbed a pair of, sweats and a long sleeved shirt, a pair of boxers and changed into them. He went under the blankets and laid down, again, beds were never really his thing, he preferred the floor, but something about being in Sam's house just made the bed super comfortable, like no other thing he's laid on in his life. He didn't go right to sleep, it took him about twenty minutes but he soon felt his eyes become heavy, feeling the darkness slowly take over him. He closed his eyes and fell into a deep sleep.

Sam was becoming lost in thought about bucky, staring down at the floor. He wondered if bucky was possibly going to have a nightmare, or he was just going to get good sleep due to how tired he was. Sam got them too, only once in a great while though, nothing major. There was a point in time when Sam would get them every night, or every time he would go to sleep, but after about a year he hasn't had them that much which he was thankful for. Sarah looked his way and saw him he was thinking long and hard. She knew it was because of bucky. He told her everything when she came inside and told her what was going on with him then told her he was going to stay living with them and Sarah was all for it, she liked bucky and thought he was a very charming calm caring person. She watched him for a minute before speaking up. "Sam, he's going to be okay" she said, keeping her voice low just in case if maybe bucky would wake up.

Sam didn't even really notice that he was thinking until Sarah said something. He knew she was right, he was it just bothered Sam that bucky was going through what he was going through, it really shook him to his core still when he read that bucky self harmed, that was a shocker to him. Sam made sure that he checked on bucky just not too long ago, seeing if he was sleeping and Sam saw how his breathing was slow and steady, his shoulder rising and falling in the process. At that moment Sam smiled to himself, feeling his heart warm up seeing how calm he was laying there with the covers hanging off of him just slightly. Sam looked at Sarah as she looked at him. After a second he nodded his head, giving her a smile before fixing his gaze back to the TV in front of him. "I know he is, I'm just worried for him is all" Sam said lowly.

She looked back at him, grinning to herself a bit knowing something was there, there was more between them two, perhaps like each other, but of course she didn't want to say anything, or say anything to make Sam feel weird so she just kept it to herself for the time being. She knew that bucky most definitely had something for Sam though, when he used to come around and the way he would look at him in this way told her that he liked Sam, they sometimes almost could be a bit too clingy at moments but she always shrugged it off by just thinking it was just because they were really close, but now she thought totally different. "I know, me too....but Sam, I swear that as long as you're around, he will be just fine" she said, pointing up stairs to where bucky was currently at in his room. Sam nodded his head smiling to himself, Sarah's words making him feel a fluttery inside. He was glad he could make bucky happy, even if it was just a small smirk it made Sam's day a hundred percent better. Sam was always, no matter what happened between them two, he was always going to stick around and be there for bucky, always be his best friend no matter the cause.

'longing. Bucky sat in the cold metal chair with his metal arm strapped down tightly, his other arm the same. He yanked his arm around, seeing if the could possibly budge but it was no use. His feet were strapped down tightly as well, just almost being able to cut of his circulation. This was the same nightmare like any other night, now it wouldn't come around 24/7 but when it did come around, it was the worst nightmare he could even experience. 'Rusted. Bucky whimpered, bottom lip quivering with fear, not wanting to forget who he was or what he was here for, all that was going to happen is that he would turn into the winter soldier again, soon forgetting everything he remembers and becoming numb. He yanked the restraints harder. 'Furnace. He didn't know who was saying it, someone was in the room with him he just couldn't see them like they were invisible. "Stop it" bucky raised his voice, the bubbling feeling of the winter soldier in him rising. It was full of hatred, anger, and numbness, no other feeling except those. Maybe that's why in reality bucky got so angry easily was because of the winter soldier side of him. 'Daybreak. He whipped his head back roughly, the back of his head hitting the metal of the chair, making a loud 'pang' "AHHHH!" He screamed, feeling the urge to rip out anybody throats that got in his way. When he was in the state as the winter soldier, the thoughts of seeing the blood on his hands, or shooting people until they laid limp, or seeing the fear in their eyes as he held them with his flesh hand around there neck as they gasped for air. 'seventeen. He yanked his his metal arm so hard it broke the restraints that went around it. He looked down at his free arm and did the other one. 'benign. The invisible person continued, reading the words out loud that made Bucky's head spin with mixed emotions and anger. 'NINE. The person raised their voice. Bucky's head started to feel light, like his head was becoming slowly numb in a sense. "GAHHHHHH STOP" He screamed so loud that his ears almost rang.