And Start Over ||SamxBucky||

(chapter 25 The hospital)

Bucky laid his head against the truck window as he groaned in pain, a pain shooting through every part of his body. Sam was so, man he was more worried than he was before with bucky, he knew bucky was in pain but now, damn, he was in more pain than he thought. Bucky groaned, moved around, squeezing his eyes shut as he was in unbearable pain. Every bone, nerve, part of his body was like he was constantly getting run over by a truck, getting crushed underneath it. He's felt pain, he still does, he has been through some of the worst pain in his life, some so bad that he surprised himself that he even handled to stay living. His eyes were closed, his head hung low a bit, moving around a little as Sam drove, turning corners getting closer to the hospital. Bucky didn't know if he was dying or he was just suffering from this illness that he wanted so desperately to disappear. He was so off balance, even when Sam was trying to get him to the truck a little bit ago bucky could hardly walk, he was so dizzy it made him nauseous.

Sam looked to his right at bucky that was in the passenger seat, his breathing was really slow and shallow, he looked almost pale white as snow, it made Sam start to speed to the hospital a little faster. Man, every time he had to stop at a stop light it felt like he sat there for hours waiting for it to turn green. Time felt like it was slowing down, going in slow motion. He watched, at every stop light when he looked over at the love of his life he watched bucky squeezing his eyes shut or letting out loud whimpers that made Sam almost slam on the gas and forgot the damn red lights that he stopped at. He cursed every damn stop he made, sometimes honking at some of the cars in front of him as they didn't speed up enough. Yeah, it wasn't there fault, it ain't like the people in the cars knew that bucky was in a real state of an emergency. Sam didn't of course think right away but as he drove he soon turned on his hazer lights as they flashed to let people know that what was happening was an emergency. Soon all the people on the roads right and there slowed down to let Sam pass them. He mouthed 'thank yous' to the people, even though they didn't see him.

Bucky moved a bit in his seat, his vibranium hand squeezing his flesh arm really hard. It hurt but he tried to handle the pain the best he could. His body was screaming at him with so much force, pain, it was so bad that he felt his head start to become dizzy and wobbly, his head bobbing around a little as they turned corners but not only just that, but because he was trying his best to stay awake but not just for himself but for Sam. He didn't want Sam to be so worried for him, it mentally and physically killed him that he had to watch Sam as he worried for him all the time. Even for the short amount of time they have been together, met up with each other again, he's already put so much weight on Sam's shoulder's, so much overthinking on Sam's shoulder's. Bucky didn't want that, he didn't, he wanted Sam to be happy, to enjoy every part of his life and not have to worry about him all the time. Bucky at this moment almost regretted even meeting up with Sam as he looked at him, turning his head just so slightly as he watched Sam speeding down the road.

Sam was trying to be safe as possible, not to crash into anyone. He's never felt this much anxiety in his chest ever in his life. It actually kinda hurt the way it felt, feeling like a large needle was getting stabbed into his chest right where his heart was. He wanted to fucking kick and scream tear his own head off his shoulders as the drive felt like hours, hell even decades. Bucky hated watching Sam be so nervous. Sam didn't even know that bucky was looking at him until Sam looked at bucky. Sam couldn't even look away from bucky for a moment, his whole world was crashing down, every wall, crumbling, tumbling down as he watched bucky in front of him dying. It was a nightmare, a nightmare a nightmare a fucking nightmare. Everything, every moment and memory they have shared, every look, glance, kiss, conversation, was just going to get washed down the drain like it never happened. This couldn't happen, not to Sam, he couldn't even imagine what state he would be in if he ever lost someone like bucky. Bucky held a special place in Sam's heart and same goes to bucky. They never wanted to loose each other, that was always there last thought but now, it was like it was coming true the thing they wanted to never talk or think about was starting to come true and it was only a matter of time before bu-