And Start Over ||SamxBucky||

(chapter 33 Darkness...)

Sam stood in the doorway of bucky's hospital room, his foot taped on the floor quickly as he waited. He grew impatient as she was supposed to be here around ten minutes ago, and he was starting to grow irritated, she was taking to long. Raynor had to get some papers for Sam, the ones that talked about bucky. She was the only one that could get them because of government stuff and such, and wouldn't let Sam see until Raynor showed them to him. He thought it was absolutely ridiculous and just really fucking stupid, but he couldn't think about any of that, he needed to know about what was going on with bucky. He's been in bed all day sleeping, deeply sleeping. Sam tried to wake him up but all bucky did was stay asleep, now, bucky can be a deep sleeper, Sam knew that, basically bucky was half and half he was a heavy but light sleeper, just depends. A lot of the time when he would cry, he would go into a deep sleep. Everyone's different. Sam didn't want to wake up bucky though, so he let him sleep instead.

Sam felt like you stood there for hours, looking into bucky room, watching him breath slowly as his heart monitor beeped. It calmed Sam that bucky was still alive, just the sound of it beeping made him feel comfort. He was happy that he was alive. He wouldn't even know what the hell he would even do if bucky died. He stood there for a little longer than finally, after what felt like centuries Raynor showed up. She went up to him in sort of a sprint and handed him the papers instantly. "I'm sorry about that Sam, there was a line of people and I came here sorta late" she said, holding her purse up and putting over her shoulder. He looked at her dirty for a moment, but as she explained herself he realized it wasn't all her fault. He nodded, getting the papers from her hands and in his. She gave him a gentle smile and Sam then looked down at the thin sheets in his hands, looking down at them and taking a big breath in. He was scared what was inside, what it could possibly say, what it would tell him. Would it tell him bad things, things that are going on with bucky that he doesn't want to know or is it the opposite from that, and he's way off and is in very bad shape. Yeah, Sam can tell bucky is in hell right now, how He's in pain all the time, and man it kills in in all sorts of ways to see someone that he cares about with his whole damn life in so much pain, so much torture.

She looked down at the papers to, she actually was scared herself. She didn't know what was in there, she didn't even want to open it until Sam did. She looked at the front of the white thin sheets in Sam's hands, looking at the from that said. 'james Buchanan Barnes' it almost felt like time stopped for her as she looked at the papers, feeling a feeling that this might just be bad shit, that this was not going to be good. Sam let his eyes fall shut for a minute, letting the air of breath out that he held in and opened his eyes, soon flipping the piece of paper over so he could read what was inside. Bucky layed down, snuggled into the blankets the covered his body, making him comfortably warm in a way. He was hot and cold mixed together, like he wasn't sure if he should kick the blanket off or not because if he did, then he would get freezing again, but if he didn't, then he might get hot. He found it so annoying, even though he was half asleep and half awake,.. it just felt different. It wasn't worrying though, but it was like he couldn't fully wake up, like it took him forever to realize where he was at and what was around him. His eyes were so freaking heavy, so heavy that he wasn't sure much longer he could keep them open.

He wasn't sure what time it was, hell, he didn't even hear the monitor beeping of his heartbeat, almost like he was brain dead, not even really in the real world, it was like he was asleep but not. You know when you can't get sleep, you stay up all night, you look at the time and it's 2:00am. 4:00am. 6:00am. And then when it finally hits eight, you are completely exhausted to the point you can't take it and you lay down then fall asleep?....that's how bucky feels right now, and it's terrible, because he has to deal with the pain that's going through his body but not only just that, but how much worse it's already got- "Sam" Raynor said, her eyebrows knitting together tightly as she looks at his facial expressions, seeing it going from okay to not okay. She thought maybe it was because he was focusing,....well that's what she hoped anyway. Sam scanned the paper slowly, concentrating on every word that he read, making sure that he doesn't miss anything. He knew Raynor said something, but he was to focused on what was in front of his eyes as he read.