Secrets I Keep (Book 2. of A Beautiful Distraction)

2) A Bittersweet Kiss

I felt something bump, and I groggily lifted my head to see I was moving. I tried to move my hands, but my wrists were in shackles. I turned my head to see a girl sitting next to me. As my mind cleared I remembered I was supposed to be on a train today. Only I decided to cause problems by fighting the guards and running. I don't know what exactly they did after that, but judging from the blood dripping down my mouth it was a good amount of damage.

"They're going to actually kill you one day,"The girl commented in a weak shaky voice.

"And? Is that supposed to bother me?"I asked, my voice scratchy. She didn't say anything more, and I shut my eyes and sighed.

At least if they killed you you wouldn't be dealing with the memories they put you through.

That was true. What's worse is that they can't give you memories. They can only alter them.

I subconsciously glanced at the mark on my arm. It was covered by the jacket, but I knew the exact spot it was in. I wear a curse on my skin. It was a deadly one too. There was no changing it.

If they kill you you won't have to go through it.

I wish they would hurry up and do that. I'm tired of being haunted by the innetevable.

Suddenly, the train lurched forward causing me to do the same. We had stopped. Were we at the last city already?

There was rattling and screaming from the front of the train. Something was happening. This was only confirmed as there was banging and muffled screaming from outside the train itself.

"Y/N! Y/N!"A voice I never thought I'd hear again shouted. I couldn't help but look out as I heard him. I couldn't go though. They'd kill me when I got there.

"You looked that way. That's you. You're Y/N,"The girls said. I didn't deny it, to exhausted and worn out to argue.

"She's here! Y/N's here!"The girl screamed. Surely he wouldn't hear over the other scream, right?

I heard sparks from the door next to me and realized someone was burning the door open. Damnit. Of course this girl shouted loud enough for them to hear. Why wouldn't she?

"You actually just killed me,"I mumbled under my breath. She didn't hear as she kept screaming. Right now I just wanted to go back to sleep. I was sick of being taunted like this. They'd find out, and it's over.

In my tired state Minho had completely slipped my mind. I could feel myself losing more energy by the second, but I needed to make sure they got the right compartment. I frantically turned my head to spot my friend, but whatever they did to me made my vision blurry. In my frustration I kicked the seat in front of me.

Or maybe you're already losing it.

I doubt it. It's looked normal this entire time. My timer is still going.

"Hey. Wake up!"The girl yelled. WICKED definitely gave me drugs because I felt myself going back to sleep. Every noise was muffled. I didn't want to stay awake. I don't really know why, but I need to rest.

Maybe I don't understand what's going on because something's been altered again. I guess I'll find out later.

I'll wake up when I wake up. If I don't that's fine too.

ᕙᕗᕙᕗᕙᕗᕙᕗᕙᕗᕙᕗᕙᕗ

"What do you think they did to her?"

"I don't know, but she's still breathing. I just don't think being beat would put you out this long, could it?"

"Maybe they injected her with something."

"That makes sense."

What seemed to be a thousand voices blurred together. I opened my eyes squinting at the bright light.

"You're awake,"Someone exclaimed, pulling me into them. I was too drowsy to recognize who or push them off.

"Give her a minute. We don't know what WICKED did to her."

"No! Don't touch me!"I yelled, trembling at hearing the name. I pulled myself out of the person's arms, held my hands over my head, and squeezed my eyes shut preparing for whatever followed. I curled into a ball and rocked myself back and forth. Something was sitting on my chest while my breathing was strained, as if something was choking me.

"Y/N?"I heard Aris's voice ask. I couldn't trust it though. They could have put me back in the simulation, and I'd wake up any second still trapped and without him. Everything would be the same as always. I can't have any hope. I was tired of thinking that way and waking up in chains. I couldn't take it.

"No, no, no. Don't touch me. Just kill me. Kill me already,"I whimpered, keeping my knees to my chest as that same feeling of death hung over my head. They did it. WICKED broke me until I was nothing.

"You're okay. You're safe now,"He coaxed. It wasn't him though. It couldn't be.

"You're not real, you're not real, you're not real. You're not him. You're not my Aris,"I argued, keeping my eyes shut.

"Let's give them some room,"A voice I recognized as Brenda said. They've never put her here before. Why start now? What did they have planned for me?

"I'm real. I promise,"He whispered, his voice cracking. I risked taking a glance to see him looking down at me teary eyed.

"I'm real,"He repeated, hesitantly reaching his hand out. I shut my eyes again just in case. Instead, he slowly places his hand on my cheek and carefully wiped some tears falling down my face. I couldn't help but wince as he brushed over a place I'd been punched. He seemed to notice as he pulled his hand back.

"What did they do to you?"He asked, seeming to direct the question at himself. I didn't answer as I put his hand back on the bruise. It hurt. If it hurt and I remember how I got that bruise he's real.

"You're real. You're actually him,"I said, finally trusting my eyes. In that moment a thousand emotions ran through my mind. So many things I never thought I'd be able to feel again. Shock, amazement, joy, comfort, safety, and a few I can't even describe.

"You're real,"I repeated. I did the thing I had only been able to dream about and crashed my lips against his. He gently kissed back, cupping my cheek as he did. We didn't pull apart until we needed air, and even then I couldn't help but laugh. Not because anything was funny, but because I don't know what other reaction to have. I had gone through months of physical and psychological torture only to be kissing the boy I loved. I was in so much disbelief that I forgot about the one problem with that.

Now I have to walk away and never come back. As heartbreaking as that is at least I got to kiss him one last time. Right now that's all I can ask for.