Secrets I Keep (Book 2. of A Beautiful Distraction)

24) Closure

That night we all sat around the fire. From what I had been told this was a familiar thing for a lot of people. I had never had one since the Mazer's did nothing but work and chat with friends, but now I wonder if maybe we should have. Even though they were a pain I think a lot of them really tried to be my friend.

As weird as it is I think I might miss them. Even the people that took pity on me were people I lived with. They were gone though.

Then, I looked around at the people surrounding me. I had Aris, the boy I would soon be marrying, on one side, and Newt, my best friend on the other. Minho was safe from WICKED and having a long talk with the friend he thought he killed. Brenda and Jorge were having a father daughter moment to the side. Frypan sat with Thomas as the two shared memories. Sonya and Harriet were happy knowing they had one of the last part of their trio back.

I do wish Luna and Alex would have been here to see it. I still had a love for them nobody could erase. Even though Alex's had once been romantic, but was now purely platonic, he still has a part in my heart nobody could take. My Luna especially did. I know they would have loved everything about this place.

"You alright there?"Newt asked, nudging my leg.

"Yeah. I'm just happy to be alive,"I admitted.

"So am I,"He nodded. "I just wish Chuck, Winston, Alby, and all them were here to see it."

Even though I didn't know who two of those people were I knew what he was feeling.

"I'm the only one left from my Maze, and it feels kind of wrong to not have them here. Even the people that sucked."

"Yeah, but I'd like to think they're looking out for us,"He replied, pointing at the sky. I glanced up and stared at all the stars. When I saw three shining proudly close together I think I knew who it was.

I guess my sister is my special star now. After all this time she was still watching me.

"Tonight is an important night for everyone,"Vince came out. Everyone sat up as we waited for his speech.

"To get here we have lost many people. Friends and family are gone, but not really. We'll keep them alive in our memories. So say their names,"He directed.

I shut my eyes as I mumbled five names. Even though I still didn't know three I was going to save them.

"Luna, Alex, Sister, Mom, Dad,"I listed as everyone's voices overrode each other. I wonder what they'd say if they knew I was getting married so young. I think I had an idea though. I could practically hear Luna's threats and my sisters worry and pride of me getting stronger. I could even hear Alex's congratulations as he was just happy for me because that's who he was. All of them showed their love for me in their own ways. Even in death I knew they would still be with me.

"A toast to those who couldn't be here,"He directed as I opened my eyes. Everyone held their mugs in the air as we cheered for both our lives and the people who didn't have theirs. It was a bittersweet moment, but so were a lot of things.

"We made it. We finally made it,"I whispered to the night sky or maybe to my loved ones.

No. I know I was talking to both. We finally had our happy ending.

ᕙᕗᕙᕗᕙᕗᕙᕗᕙᕗᕙᕗᕙᕗ

The next morning I was the first one up. As the last Mazer I had the job of putting in the people that mattered. A few had done it last night, but I had three things to add.

I picked up the chip and started on the L first. I held back a tear as I engraved her name into the stone.

When the U came I needed a breath before continuing. Being alone was a good idea. I was still strong, and even though a lot had changed the way I wanted to be seen hadn't.

Well, not exactly. I still wanted to be seen as tough, but I also wanted to be kind. I wanted to be somebody others could come to and trust. I wanted to be a friend.

I was going to be a special star. The only difference was I would be one that stood up for what she believed in, and what I believe in is that family isn't blood. It's everyone here and everyone who isn't.

Once I was done with her name I ran my hands over it.

"I love you honey,"I whispered. After all, I had called her that. Why would I stop?

I moved on to the A for Alex. Even though his death had been by his hand he was still someone I admired. He just couldn't handle it anymore. As much as a part of me thinks blaming him is right Newt had tried to do the same. Knowing that somehow brought some sort of forgiveness for both him and myself. Somebody I know and loved now had attempted suicide yet was still so incredible. That's how I will remember Alex.

"I love you Alex,"I said, never having had a nickname for him. There was one more thing I needed though.

With another breath I wiped sweat off my brow as the sun started to rise. By now others were up but hadn't come to wait their turn. Everyone knew this was something we all had to do alone. It was our closure.

I carefully carved a M into the rock. Grey pebbles lay around my feet as I did. My hand was cramping, but I couldn't quit. They deserved their spot.

Eventually, they got it. In big, capital letters MAZER'S had been written. Even though there was so many of them they also deserved a message.

"I didn't talk to a lot of you guys, but thank you for helping build a home. Even the people that were kind of jerks sometimes, thank you for being part of my life. None of you should be dead, but you are. So here's my promise. I will honor you. I'll even imagine you at my wedding. Goodbye guys. Goodbye."

Wiping away a tear I couldn't help but smile when it wasn't blood. I would live a real life, and this time I wouldn't waste it.

Standing up and walking away I looked for the first person I knew. It also happened to be the one who knew me like the back of his hand.

I approached Aris, and he stood up. Knowing exactly what I needed he embraced me in a tight, comforting hug.

"I'm proud of you,"He whispered as he pulled apart and squeezed my hand. I didn't ask why as I did the same back. It just felt nice to hear somebody say it and mean it. Especially, when that person was him.