Hermitcraft Oneshots

Nothing - Bdoc angst

He knew that nothing had actually happened. Nothing more than a bit of flirty banter and looking into each others' eyes for just a second too long. That was it. Perhaps it had been the close proximity or perhaps it had been the frequent interactions or perhaps both, but it had sparked something in Bdubs, and he had been fairly sure it had sparked something in Doc too. He had been fairly sure that it was all leading up to something between them and that it would only be a matter of time. In fact, one night, when the stars were bright and the moon was full and an owl could be heard in the distance, Bdubs could have sworn that as he looked into his brown and red eyes, Doc started to lean in.

But that was all that happened.

Bdubs glanced up at the creeper next to him. He himself wasn't paying attention to Xisuma, but he never usually did anyway. Doc was paying attention, and his face was as stern and as threatening as always; that was his resting face.

He knew that it had been a long time ago. It had been at the very beginning of season 7, and they were now well into season 9. And after two seasons, he couldn't really blame the other for moving on, but it still hurt because he hadn't moved on. And that spark had produced a raging fire, and it was still growing. And it hurt, as though the fire's fuel was his soul.

He knew that Doc had had something going on with Ren in season 8, although he wasn't sure exactly what. He tried to just ignore it, especially whenever he saw them, but on the inside it was like someone was taking a hammer to his ribcage. But somehow, the silence was even more soul destroying;

They never texted. They never talked. Even if they were stood next to each other in an event or, like today, sat next to each other in the monthly meeting, they never exchanged more than a 'hi' or a nod. Bdubs felt as though Doc hardly remembered him, like he hardly thought about him at all and like he definitely did not remember that time. At the beginning of the season, he had taken his horse around the map to explore and he had walked past Doc. Doc had said hello but hadn't even used his name, like he was any other person. He supposed that it seemed to be that he was. He was just any other person to Doc now. That little blip in season 7 was completely in the past to him. It was nothing.

He glanced at Doc again. He was sitting so normally. So casually. Had he even noticed that Bdubs was there? Did he really, truly not care? Did he truly not remember that time? He knew that the answer was yes. Bdubs did not even exist to Doc, not anymore.

God. Why did he have to love him? Why him?

Aaaaaaaaaa GCSE results day is on thursday I do not how to process this and it's absolutely killing me that I don't know what sixth form I'll be going to yet because I know my first choice but don't know if I'll get the grades. Therefore I will make you suffer with me with ANGST! It's lowkey inspired by my ex gf because while we actually got together unlike Doc and Bdubs in this she acts like I don't exist anymore and it fucking hurts even though we broke up like a year and a half ago and only dated for like a month. This angst gets no happy ending because I don't get a happy ending. Anywayyyyyy... cats are great aren't they?