a perfect contradiction • lrh

chapter thirty-five

How many scars did you justify, because you love the person holding the weapon?

Everything was spinning as his chest collapsed into sobs. He had finally broken. His pain was nothing short of raw, open and honest.

Eleanor caught him as his soul crumpled. Her arms cradling him as he cried into her. Her attempts at soothing him felt feeble against the severe pain heard in his desperate intakes of breath.

She allowed herself to feel the pressure of the kitchen counter against her back, as Luke curled up against her side. She recalled a breathing technique Luke had once taught her, slowly and steadily breathing in, holding, exhaling, holding and repeating.

Luke felt the rise and fall of her chest as his cries became quieter until they stopped. His eyes rested shut, lulled by her precious heart. She smoothed his hair down with her fingers and rested her head on top of his.

Now that she felt calm she spoke, "Lu, have you been hurt at all?" He shook his head, "no".
That relaxed her shoulders.

"Are you safe?" But there was hesitation with his response.

"I don't know," he sighed. "I've been getting texts from an unknown number, requesting money and I know from the off that it was from my father" he started, his fingers fiddled nervously at the edging of her (his) jumper.

"Why would he ask you for money?" Eleanor asked, her tone surprisingly calm despite the seriousness of the conversation.

"Since I was a teen, he's always had an issue with getting involved with the wrong people just to make money fast. He saw me as an opportunity with what I was earning at the time"

"Why can't you just say no to him and report him?"

He sighed heavily, "he says he's got some damning images of me on one of his...erm errands and stuff and i'd be screwed if they got into the wrong hands"

"That's ridiculous, Luke you were forced into this and you were a minor!" Eleanor's voice raised as her temper rose. She had no idea the extent of his father's hold over him. She dreaded to even consider what he had made Luke do as a teen.

"It's easier if I just do what he wants and then it's over"

"But it's not over, when he needs more money or someone to do his dirty work, he'll come crawling back to you and destroy you again, he's like a fucking leech" she rolled her eyes.

"I've handle it, I don't need you to get involved" She bit her lip as she held back what she truly wanted to say.

"Fine, but if he ever comes back, I'm dealing with him" he smiled at her protectiveness over him. It was nice to know someone had his back.

**"

Eleanor changed into her pajamas and headed back to the kitchen where Luke was making them a drink. She paused in the doorway and studied his vacant stare. He was fixed on the spoon in his hand and it trembled ever so slightly.

"Lu?" She whispered as she made her way over to him and squeezed in between the counter and him.

He pressed his forehead against hers with his eyes shut. A tear trickled down his cheek.

"I feel lost, just.. I just don't know what I'm doing anymore or who I am" her heart split in two. There was a sadness in his voice, the kind of sadness where it cracks. It caused her pain like she had never known.

"El, my beautiful El" he croaked, cupping her face as more tears fell down his face. "I love you, you are my saving grace and I'm truly... devastated that I've hurt you so much this week, I'm just lost, I don't know what to do and I don't know how to move forward" .

She couldn't speak as her own tears flooded out. Eleanor wrapped her arms around him and hugged him closer. And for a moment they both released all the anguish and hurt they had been keeping in.

Once their tears had dried, they laid together staring at the ceiling.

"I'm sorry I didn't notice you felt so lost" she sighed, hating that he was hurting and she was so unaware.

"Baby, it's not your fault, I should have told you." He kissed her temple. He sighed against her skin.

Eleanor thought for a moment, "I've had something I've wanted to suggest for you for a while but I wasn't sure how'd you'd react..." she began as she sat up perched on her elbow. Luke nodded for her to continue.

"You enjoy making music and singing right?"

"I do... yes" he said cautiously

"Well there's a new bar in town, it's only small, more like a pub really and anyway, it's got an open mic night every Sunday night. I know it scares you and I know things in your past and I know..." she waffled as luke interrupt her with one word.

"Sure" he smiled despite his heartbeat picking up in pace.

Her smile beamed, "for real? You'll give it a go?"

He stared at her, his tired eyes smiling, "sure, I've gotta start living life haven't I? I don't want to be stuck in that store my whole life."

She sighed happily and rolled onto her back. "Imagine this..." she spoke as she painted a picture in the air, "your name in lights... Luke Hemmings"

a/n
Thank you so much for reading ⭐
How are we feeling after the last few chapters?