WHO AM I? (2) (SHANKS X READER)

chapter forty-five

"Y/n, please forgive me yoi. I swear, I didn't mean for the prank to go that far. I really didn't know you were gonna panic yoi" Marco apologized bowing down while you looked down at him "Why would you even do such prank? My pranks weren't even that extreme" you frowned "It wasn't even my idea, yoi. It was Benn and Ace. Me and shanks were dragged into this.." he answered looking very guilty "Benn?" you asked smiling "Yeah yoi" he replied "Okay, you know what. It's okay, I forgive you. But I have to go and talk with Benn" you smiled as you begun stomping towards said person's room.

 You kicked down the door and glared at Benn "You piece of fucking shit! I payed you to be on my side" you frowned as you glared at him "25" was all he said "Oh my god dad!" you sighed and hit your head on the wall "oh hey! You called me dad" he grinned while you blushed "No I did not" you smiled nervously "Yes you did~" he teased you leaning forward, you turned around and stormed out of the room "FUCK YOU DAD!" you shouted and ran "Love you too!" he yelled back "Fuck Benn, Fuck Marco, Fuck ace, and Fuck shanks! Especially shanks! Fuck him for making me love him, Fuck him for making me seem like a fool, Fuck him for..." you trailed off as you stopped moving and looked up "Fuck me for..?" he smiled "Fuck you shanks" you pouted and crossed your arms "gladly" he smirked and picked you up "Ah! Hey wait! I was kidding, I was joking! I swear!" You said nervously while trashing around in his hold "Shanks! I swear, I'll call my dad on you! DAD!!" you added shouting "Which one?" he asked and you frowned "good question, ah. Guess I'm fucked" you replied while nodding "you are? We'll see about that honey~" he chuckled while you blushed slightly "Don't sweet talk me you bastard ~ I'm still angry~" you whined as you saw the three grown up fighting about which one you were calling for "I JUST WANT TO SAY FUCK EVERYBODY!" you yelled and all three of them turned to you "LANGUAGE!" they shouted in union while you looked at them with a deadpan expression "I'm fucked" you sighed "very, literally" shanks chuckled as he continued walking away from the Chaos behind him "Do you think they'll remember I even called for them?" You asked finally accepting your fate "when they remember it'll be too late" he replied as he entered the room and put you down locking the door.

"Now~ back to what you were saying?" he smiled licking his lips "Fuck you for... fuck you for .." you stuttered walking backwards while he advanced towards you, he caught your arm and pulled you towards him then put his arm around your waist "You know, I missed you~" he smiled and nuzzled into your neck 'I can't stay mad at him damn it' you thought while blushing "I missed you as well.." you whispered sighing as you inhaled his scent, it always calmed you down for some reason. "Y/n.. I want to ask you something.. did you really lose your emotions when he died?" he asked while you frowned looking at him "How did you know..?" you questioned and he looked in your eyes "So, it's true?" he muttered as if searching for an answer in your eyes "sit down and I'll tell you" you sighed and looked down unable to look him in his eyes anymore.

You both sat down on the bed then you looked down "I already had difficulty with my emotions, ever since I was a child. I was always told to keep smiling, no matter the situation is.. I gradually begun forgetting any other feeling just completely smiling, it's as if... I was a walking doll. I was really tired and by the time I was 17, I was emotionally drained and had that breakdown at the library. I never understood how emotions worked or anything at all, I was just... there. Watching as everything pass by and not doing anything.. but when I met you, I felt something I never felt before.. I was happy, for once in my life... Yet everything just kept getting worst, my disappearance, the kidnapping, the deaths.. us dying and returning again... It's just like nothing is ever gonna be fixed! I was really hoping to fix everything.. yet it got more and more complicated, kaido kidnapping me.. the forced marriage.. big w appearing.. it all keeps getting messed up, it's like.. nothing ever want us to have the peace we ever wanted. I felt.. when I had Kai.. like all of my problems were done, everything was simpler.. better even? I don't know... I kept loosing.. and loosing.. and loosing.. no matter how hard I try! It's like everything is always crumbling down.. Kai was my recovery key.. yet I simply lost him.. you and him were everything I ever needed to know what real happiness felt like.. yet I killed you when I lost control that time.. I killed my own son too cause of my selfish actions.. do I even deserve to be called his mother anymore?" you smiled looking down "oh y/n..." shanks sighed "you should've told me before... why do you keep bottling your emotions? I'm always here by your side to help, everyone is. It doesn't matter what happened in the past but what is ahead of us right now, you should focus on the future and not the past. I've been focusing on my future, a future we both live in together" he added and you looked up seeing him smiling warmly at you "It's true we might not get the peace we seek for yet together we can get as much of it as we can. I might've started our whole relationship based on my want for revenge yet I swear I've never loved anyone as much as you. You're the only person who I love infinitely, please y/n. Let us help you, everyone is worried about you" he frowned slightly and ran his hand through your hair, you looked down at your hands and begun thinking 'Why would anyone be worried about me? I thought that I hid my feelings perfectly? Should I let them help me? But what if they betray me? No... They wouldn't dare, we've been together through a lot of shit. They wouldn't do this now.. I guess.. maybe this once.. I'll let them help me' you looked at shanks and sighed seeing the look he was giving you, you can't resist his puppy eyes! It's just too much "Fineeee~ I'll let you guys help me.." you smiled slightly "Now back to what we were doing" he grinned "Wait shanks we can talk about this right?" you chuckled nervously "nope~" he smirked and almost immediately began kissing you.