My boyfriend is a killer | VegasPete AU

twelve - voices

[Pete]

I went into a deep state of depression when I was just twelve. Why? Because I was constantly getting verbally abused by my father. My dad was sometimes nice to me but, when he got drunk, he was always a terrible person.

He never hit me. He just used his words to abuse me.

He would always tell me how worthless I was, about how I was such a big disappointment to him, about how I ruined his life.

I couldn't do anything but cry because I didn't understand how it was my fault that he got my mother pregnant when they were still in high school, how it was my fault that he had to drop out of school and get a job to take care of me, how it was my fault that I wasn't the "strong" son he'd hoped for. 

It got to a point where I couldn't take it anymore. That was when the voices started.

I started hearing multiple voices in my head all the time and when it'd get too much, I'd clutch my head and yell for them to stop. It seemed like I was going crazy so my mom had to take me to an asylum.

It was the worst period of my life. I felt so out of place, I felt like I didn't belong there, I felt betrayed by my mom for taking me there.

The voices continued even afterwards. Though I was hearing multiple, there was always one distinct voice that stood out.

It always told me things like "don't let them hurt you".

The reason why I always listened to the voice was that, it saved my life. When I wanted to just end it all, it told me not to. It told me that I wasn't worthless nor was I a disappointment. It told me things different from what my dad was telling me.

I always thought the voice was a good thing until it started making me feel and do things that I didn't want to, and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

The sun was peaked in through the window, breaking me away from my thoughts. I sighed, not knowing how long I'd been up just thinking.

I turned my body around, shocked to see Vegas awake, sitting on the bed with one knee propped up, his hands resting on it.

I noticed that he was staring intently at me, and I panicked.

I didn't know why whenever I was with him, I was always cautious of my appearance.

"Why are you staring at me like that?" I snapped, proceeding to hide my face with the blanket but I stopped when Vegas suddenly got up to hover over me, his hands on either side of my head.

I wanted to push him away, but it was as if my mind couldn't register the fact that Vegas was currently on top of me, and with one very important detail: he was shirtless. 

"W-What are you doing?" I asked slowly and watched as he came dangerously, very dangerously close, our noses almost touching.

Before I could push him off me, I heard the door swing open, which made Vegas settle down besides me.

The woman had a sheepish look on her face as she stared at us.

"Oh, I'm so sorry for barging in, I hope I didn't ruin anything," she said worridly and as I was about to answer that she didn't, Vegas cut me off.

"No worries, we were already done," he said and I shot him a glare to which he only winked.

"Okay, you two get dressed and come down when you're done so we can discuss how I can help you," the woman said. Vegas and I nodded. 

When she was gone, I looked over to Vegas with furrowed eyebrows. "What were you going to do before she walked in?"

Vegas had a cheeky look on his face as he shrugged. "Nothing."