My Sunflower

twenty nine

I'm staring at the tuna cat food that needs to be brought forward on the shelf, but I have less fucks to give today.

The post concert depression always hits hard, especially when you're now somewhat friends slash dating the artist. I miss him. Like fucking truly.

It was a hectic week last week, what with Zayn staring me down, brows creasing, a grimace on his face. He kept flipping me off and motioning that he'd strangle me, all just because every time Liam walked into the room, he would blush profusely to the point where his cheeks were as red as apples.

Not my fault the pair have suddenly caught a crush on each other. He should be grateful that I'm in the same exact boat with him, the way I'm deeply in love with Harry. Nobody needs to know that, though.

Yet I'm pretty sure they do, especially Jade.

Her and Niall had a whale of a fucking time at the show, always giggling into each other's necks and kissing each other every given point. Sickening, disgusting.

"Lou!" Niall cheers, slapping me on the back. "I don't think you'll move that can, even if you do continue to stare at it."

I huff loudly. "Maybe I'll grow magical powers and turn into a wizard. I'm so bored of this job, Ni. I want to be chasing Harry, not mopping up dog piss from the floor." I motion to the puddle behind us that has a wet floor sign covering it. Yeah, I was meant to get rid of that twenty minutes ago, and still haven't had the energy to grab the bleeding mop.

"Stop moping and start mopping!" He laughs at his joke, if that's what you consider that statement was.

I trudge over to the stock room, punching in the code and letting the door swing close behind me. Niall sneaks into the gap before it can close completely. I sit down onto the stack of hay, yawning loudly.

"What's so wrong with me wanting to follow him around the world? Why do I gotta be in this fucking place where I'm thousands of miles from him?" I can feel the tears threatening.

Yep. Post concert depression sucks ass.

Niall claps me on the shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "Mate, I understand you're upset. But come on, we all knew the conditions with this. You gotta stay strong until the next time you go see him." He grabs a trolley dumping stock inside of it, whistling Daddy Issues.

I quirk a brow, leaning my head in my hands. "What's got you all chipper?" I ask, feeling my chin move within my palm every syllable I let out.

Niall swivels on his heel and looks to me, a shit eating grin coming up onto his face. "Sex, mate. Really good fucking sex."

I squint my eyes shut and groan to show I really don't want this conversation. "Why did I ask?"

Niall comes over and flops into the stack of dog food beside me with a slap. "Do you have any idea how long I've been waiting for Jade and I to have some alone time? It's really hard when the walls in our flat are paper thin and the neighbours can hear it. That hotel bed was bliss, and it didn't squeak once." He points a finger out and I shove my fingers into my ears.

"Lalala!" I yell, standing up. Just the sound reminds me of Harry's song Woman and Carolina, pulling a string in my heart.

"Oh, come on!" Niall shouts over my noise. "It's not like you don't tell me all about the shit you want to do to Harry!"

I point a warning finger his way. "That is pure delusion. It's not real!" 

"Not from where I'm standing," he mumbles. "He's got the hots for you."

"Mhm, keep dreaming," I reply, rubbing at my tired eye.

It's hard keeping the secret. Because Jade would've been the first person I'd rush to and spill the tea to. Harry and I shared many kisses. He kissed my shoulder when I was putting on my pyjamas. I combed my fingers through his curly locks when he was sleepy, curled up as the little spoon on the bed. He feather kissed my cheeks and eyelids to wake me up when we had to leave for the next concert.