My Sunflower

four

"Mumma," a voice cries out softly.

It makes me abruptly stop from... certain, erm... certain activities.

I quickly use a tissue to clean myself off, quickly pulling my joggers on and walking to the bathroom to wash my hands.

I wander into the twins' shared room, the room dimly lit from the night light elephant in the corner that creates stars to twinkle on the ceiling. The soft yellow walls has shadows casted over them from the light.

I look over to the white painted cot, seeing Doris in her Winnie the Pooh sleep bag, arms waving up in the air to be held.

"'Ouis," she croaks when she sees me come in, little tears streaming down her face.

I coo, swiping her sweaty hair off her forehead.

"Mamma's gone to work tonight, darling. It's just me," I mutter quietly, not wanting to wake Ernest up as well.

Doris rubs her eyes, fists clenched, face retorting as she begins to cry harder. I'm quick to scoop her up from her cot, swaying us side to side.

"Oh, Ducky, it's alright, love. Did you have a bad dream?" I ask, stroking her hair back.

She nods into my neck, though I'm sure she doesn't really know what I mean. Maybe she does, I don't know how toddler brains work.

"It's alright, love, you're safe." I begin humming one of Harry's songs to her. It's one I know she loves to hear whenever I put his albums on— Sweet Creature.

She sniffles, tears slowly stopping. She brings her thumb into her mouth and I look around her cot to find her dummy. I pop it into her mouth and she suckles away at it, grabbing my hair that wisps around my ears into her hands, playing with the strands there.

Her blue eyes are glassy with the unshed tears that are simmering down. I kiss her forehead, laying her back down in her cot and handing her her green muzzling. Her tiny fingers wrap around the bunny teddy sewn on top of the muzzling, rubbing it against her cheek.

I turn to leave, but she whimpers.

"No!" she whines.

I turn my head to see her brows creased and her hand reaching out toward me.

I sigh, walking further into the room and sitting cross legged on the white fluffy rug beside her cot.

"I'll stay until you fall asleep, okay?" I decide, running a finger down her nose.

Her eyes stay open for a few more minutes, staring back at me and giving me soft smiles every now and again, until her eyes finally flutter close and even deep breaths come from her.

I get up quietly, kissing her on the cheek. I go over to Ernie who somehow slept through the whole ordeal. I swear, this kid can sleep through a bomb going off. I give him a kiss on the cheek as well, leaving the room and closing the door behind me.

I go back into my room, seeing my laptop sat on top of my dishevelled sheets. I flop back onto the bed, seeing the picture of the guy with the curls smiling back at me, dimples popping.

God, I wish I knew him. How cool would it be to go travelling around to listen to him sing for free with him?

The crush I have on the dude is slightly concerning. But that's for me to know. No one knows how much I deeply I swoon over him. It's embarrassing at the best of times.

I decide that the moment before seeing to Doris has been completely ruined. So I shuck off my joggers, close my laptop and climb under the covers, nosing my cotton pillow and tucking my teddy under my arm.