My Sunflower

three

The front door closes shut behind me, and I slump against the wall in order to kick off my shoes, a sigh leaving my lips.

My eyes gaze over the pictures on the wall, a pang of loss hitting through me, seeing all their blue eyes smiling back at me.

"Lou, is that you?" Mum calls and I wander through the dim lit house into the front room where the curtains are drawn for the evening and the telly is on a kids TV show.

Doris and Ernest look up from drinking milk out of their sippy cups, eyes widening with glee. Their small hands doing grabby fingers.

"Achoo," Doris cheers, grin on her small face, button nose scrunching up.

"Hey little loves. You being good for Mamma?" I ask, giving them both a kiss on the cheek.

"We went 'ark," Ernie announces triumphantly.

I nod my head, smiling. "I'm gonna go get changed, I smell of doggie."

Ernest giggles, scrunching his nose up. "Smelly!"

I gasp teasingly, pinching his little toes, making him squeal and duck them under the blanket him and Doris share.

I skip up the stairs, chucking my bag onto my bedroom floor just as I open the door. I quickly change into some joggers and a black tshirt, ruffling my hair to get majority of the product out of it, making it go all fluffy and to stick up.

A knock on my door sounds, and I look up from feeding my little blond Syrian hamster where its cage sits on my desk.

I turn my head to see Mum coming in. She smiles, eyes tired and holds her arms out. I fall into them, always enjoying a cuddle from my Mum, no matter how old I am.

She sways us side to side, stroking my back lightly. She kisses my forehead. "What day is it you go to this concert of yours?" she ponders.

A flicker of excitement buzzes through me. "Fourteenth. A Wednesday."

She hums, sighs. "Boobear. I have to work during that week, throughout the night shifts. Dan's not back until the sixteenth from New York. I have no one to look after the twins." Her voice is wary.

I know exactly what she's implying.

My brows crease and I stare up at her. "Can't you ask Mark to look after them?"

She shakes her head. "They're not his kids, Louis, I can't ask of that of him, especially when he has the girls."

My other sisters; Daisy, Phoebe and Felicite live with their dad, Mark. Mum works too much that they thought it would be best for Mark to take them, because he gets majority of his money from Government benefits. Lottie is boarding at college for a fashion designer degree.

And I'm with Mum and the two year old twins.

"Mum I can't cancel this concert. I've been waiting years to see Harry live. Jade will be so livid if I cancel now as well, and I'm not giving my ticket to Niall, he'll only moan. Can't I find tickets online and bring Doris and Ernie with me? Harry would love them!" I plead.

Mum shakes her head, sympathy written along her face. "Sorry, baby, but they're too young to go." She must see the way my eyes begin to tear up, because she pulls my closer and begins stroking my hair, laying her cheek onto the top of my head from where I'm slumped into her chest. "I'll try to work a way around it. But you got to have the thought in your mind, that going to the concert might not happen. I'm so sorry baby boy. If I could do anything to change it, I would."

"Life isn't fair," I bumble, rubbing my nose onto her shoulder, smelling the lavender there.

She sighs. "I know, baby. It really isn't... I'll try to swap with Maggie, but you know how much of a bitch she is."