My Sunflower

thirty one

I didn't realise how nervous I was bringing Harry back to the house until it's finally bloody happening.

What if he sees our little council estate house and thinks I'm too much of a poor boy to be walking around with someone as rich and famous as him? What if he laughs at how tiny my room is after the twins get the dibs on the bigger room so they can share and fit both their cots in there. What if he judges the way in which we have to turn on our hot water to have a bath to save energy, him probably having a heated pool and hot tub he doesn't have to worry about the expenses for.

I don't even know if I tidied my room, and it's now that I realise as I drive us to my house that I haven't cleaned out Frank in two weeks. He's probably made my room smell like rotten piss. That's my own fault, to be fair. Should've kept up the cleaning instead of wallow in my own self-pity over Harry not being here.

But now here he is sitting in the car with his legs tucked together, hands between his thighs, hunched over to look out the window of the car, smiling to himself as his head bops to the beat of a song filtering through the speakers.

"I'm sorry if my house is a little untidy," I break the silence, turning into the close I live on.

The sky is painted blue, with streaks of white from the clouds drifting gently past like cobwebs on a branch. Mum's car is still in the drive, but the boot is open, signalling that she's getting ready to go. The front door is also wide open, and I can just about see Doris run behind the baby gate in the hallway, her screams carrying out of the house and into the sky.

"I don't mind. You should see my room after I've stayed a few days. I'm not so tidy at home." Harry shrugs, unbuckling his seatbelt when I park up.

I grab his hand to stop him. "Before you go inside, you need to know that my mum may freak out that I brought a guy home. And considering you're Harry, she might have a slight heart attack."

Harry grins, tucking a piece of his hair behind his ear. "Honestly, Mums love me, so I'm sure everything will be okay." He reaches over and gives me a kiss on the cheek before leaving the car.

I take a deep breath in and leave the car also, walking inside the house and kicking off my shoes.

"Mum, 'm home! You can go to work now!" I call out, chewing my lip. I watch Harry toe off his shoes and look around the hallway at the photos of the family on the wall.

"Achoo!" Ernie hollers, barrelling into the room. He stops in his tracks, lowering his arms from their outstretched gesture to be picked up, staring up at Harry. "Who dat?"

"This is Harry," I say.

"I'm Harry," Harry says at the same time as me. Dimple smile turned toward Ernest.

Ernie tilts his head to the side like a bamboozled puppy. "Boyfwen'?" he asks toward me.

"Sure," Harry says with a nod. He winks my way.

I think my heart just stopped, and I have to grip to the wall so my buckling knees don't sink me to the floor.

"Oohh," Ernest coos, giggling when I pick him up and put my hand over his mouth to stop him from saying whatever baby babble he wants to say, just in case Harry understands it. Most likely, it'll be babble on 'he finally got the boyfriend he wanted.'

"Boobear, is that you?" Mum's tired voice earnestly asks from the living room, coming into the hallway with her uniform on.

She looks up from shoving something in her bag, eyes widening before softening when she sees Harry. "Well, hello."

Harry gives a short wave. "Hi."

Mum shakes her head and brings him in for a hug. "So you're the famous Harry Styles that's been making my son swoon head over heels for you! He will not shut up about you since your days in Daddy Issues!"