The Price She Paid: Shadow & Bone (Book 2)

Chapter 19: Comfort.

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I found the library and brought Morozova's journal with me. A lot of it was written in old Ravkan, but from what I understood David was right. Every page had a different warning written on it. Merzost was dark magic, something ancient, the making at the heart of the world. It had no limits, it was terrifying and endless and it always came with a cost.

One passage claimed the magic fed off your soul, snatching it up piece by piece until there was nothing left but a shell of the person you were. It was unpredictable to wield, impossible to control. It corrupted everything it touched, like the perfect disease.

No matter how hard I looked, the book never mentioned a cure, or a way to stop it.

I cried out in frustration, standing up and whipping the book across the room.

My eyes burned from hours of reading, my body was stiff and cramped from sitting for so long, but the worst part was the feeling of absolute hopelessness.

"That bad, huh?"

My head jerked up to where Nikolai stood, studying me from the open door.

"It has nothing, its just pages and pages of endless warnings and horrible threats." I reached up, running my fingers through my knotted curls. "How are we supposed to kill something that shouldn't even exist?"

"I don't know, but we'll find a way." Nikolai walked into the room, bending down to pick up the old leather book. "They're creatures made of shadows, summoning the sun might be enough to stop them."

I raised my hand, palm facing the ceiling. I summoned, watching as a soft glow of light flashed from my open palm.

I took comfort in the light, letting myself breathe.

"You really think it will be that easy?"

"Tamar mentioned you could still summon the sun." Nikolai closed the space between us, starring at the sunlight in the palm of my hand. "It's beautiful."

He was right, it was. Every time I saw it, I was in awe.

"I'm scared," I admitted. My voice barley above a whisper. "Baghra warned me once never to summon from Alina, she made me promise. She wouldn't tell me why, but she was scared."

I hadn't told anyone about that, not even Alina.

"Why did you do it then?"

I looked up at him, watching the way the light illuminated his face, making his eyes shine. I swallowed hard and watched as the light flickered, my concentration wavering. 

"You were in trouble." The words slid from my lips before I could stop them. "I saw the Volcra corner you. I heard you scream and I just—". I shook my head, swallowing the lump in my throat. "I couldn't watch you die. I couldn't—".

His arms sought me out, pulling me against him as lips claimed mine in a bruising kiss, abruptly cutting me off before I could say more.

I pulled him closer, seeking out the warmth and comfort that he always provided. I could feel the heat of his body through the layers of our clothes. I could smell his calming scent of sea and whiskey. One of his hands had knotted itself in my hair while the other had circled my waist, as if he were afraid, I'd run at moments notice.

He was real and he was here. It was just him and I, no tricks, no cheering crowd, no lies.

I reached for the buttons on his shirt, struggling to kiss him and undue the buttons at the same time.