The Price She Paid: Shadow & Bone (Book 2)

Chapter 34: He was mine and I was his.

I let Nikolai lead me through the castle to the room we'd be staying in. Genya followed suite and did her best to heal any visible wounds, like the bruising on my arms and neck. I downed three bowls of stew and climbed in the bath, scrubbing away any and all remains of Morozova's workshop.

Nikolai hovered close by the entire time, not willing to leave my side. I sat on the edge of our bed, sipping tea while wearing an oversized velvet bathrobe. Nikolai stood by the fire, watching the flames without saying much.

I knew he wanted to ask me something, but he was restraining himself.

"You can ask," I told him, breaking the silence between us.

He brought the glass of whiskey to his lips, taking a long sip.

"What did he say to you, you were going to tell us, but you hesitated."

I turned and set the cup of tea down on the bedside table.

"'I will strip away all that you know, all that you love. Till you have no shelter but me'," I recited, the words tasting bitter on my tongue.

Nikolai turned to face me, his expression falling.

"Evelynn-"

"You were right about what you said in the tunnels, I thought I knew him, I thought I knew what he was capable of, but I was wrong. I don't know him; I've never known him."

"He showed you what he wanted you to see so you'd fall in love with him. There's another side to him, one that he hides because he knows you'll never accept it and I think that side is starting to show now."

"The Black Heretic," I recited, my voice flat. "That's who I saw at the workshop. A man so hungry for power and control he'd maim his own mother to get it."

I raised my head, letting my gaze meet Nikolai's. I needed him to hear what I was going to say, I needed him to understand what came next.

"He knows my weaknesses, he knows that the one way to hurt me is to hurt the people that I love and he's not going to stop. If you had any self preservation left, you would walk out that door and get as far away from me as possible."

I watched as the realization settled on Nikolai's face. He set the glass of whiskey down with shaky hands, stepping towards me with wide eyes.

"Don't say it if you do not mean it," he warned, his voice hoarse.

I climbed to my feet. I had been so terrified of what would happen if I admitted it to him, to myself. But I was done being afraid of this.

"Nikolai-"

"I've loved you from the moment I first laid eyes on you, Evelynn Newman. The second you stepped foot on my ship I knew I would spend the rest of my life loving you, I've just been waiting for you to catch up."

I laughed despite myself, shaking my head.

"Oh, you've just been waiting for me to catch up, huh?"

Nikolai grinned, his smile stretching from ear to ear.

"Patiently," he added.

"I've tried not to love you," I admitted, feeling the smile fall from my face. "I tried to choke it down, to bury it but I can't, and I won't." My feet moved on their own accord, stepping towards him as if they couldn't bare to be so far from him. "I love you, Nikolai. I loved you before I even knew your name."

Nikolai had been my light in the darkness. I had met him when I was still reeling from Aleksander's betrayal and Sebastian's death. I was trapped in the dark and all it took was one charming smile for him to light everything up. No matter how dark things got, he was always there to bring the light. I needed him, I loved him and nothing on this earth could change that.

He surged towards me, his lips capturing mine in a searing kiss. I needed him like I needed air, desperately and entirely beyond my control.

We shed our clothes, the simple thought of getting closer to each other driving our actions. His teeth clanged against mine as he backed us up towards the bed. There was nothing gentle about the way he touched me, it was all hunger and need, as if he had given into his most basic urges.

There were no soft words, no murmurs of endearment, we were past all of that. One second his body was a warm steady weight over mine, our limbs tangled together in some erotic puzzle, the next he was thrusting inside of me. His lips swallowed my cries. My body moved on its own accord, wrapping my legs around his waist, urging him to give me more.

I felt like I was drunk on him, the feel of his skin against mine, the warmth of his mouth, the weight of his body. He consumed me, just like he always had, just like he always would.

Nikolai was mine, and I was his.