Can you please fix me?

Test

A/N
I'm alive-ish
I'm sorry If there is any mistakes

"Sleep Bambina you will be okay, Mama got you, Mama will always be here for you" she whispered and placed a kiss on her forehead "La mamma ti ama così tanto e non cambierà mai" [Mama loves you so much and it will never change]

It has been 2 days since, and Maya has spent most of the last two days regressed, Carina was delighted she had missed her Bambina, but what dampened her happiness was that Maya is still having trouble time hearing. She tried to convince the blonde to book an appointment to check on her hearing but Maya would refuse every time saying that it would get better soon, but she was afraid that her hearing was permanently damaged, confirming her fears and it would bite her job would be at risk and that was the only thing that was holding her back, losing her job the first thing she chose after being on her own away from Lane and his games, the job that gave her, her friends her family, but unfortunately to her Carina was not buying her excuses anymore and she argued that checking on her hearing will put both of their minds at peace, and the blonde begrudgingly agreed to go and an appointment was booked for today the reason she was up all night thinking of all the possibilities and scenarios that may come.

It was a thing she hated since she was a kid if she had an important event coming up she would have a hard time resting or doing anything besides thinking about what could happen or preparing for it until it was done. She was tired mentally she tried every method to try and help her sleep and put her out of her misery, she tried pretending to be asleep in an attempt to trick her subconscious into falling asleep. She tried drinking tea and counting jumping sheep but nothing had helped. She was tempted to go in on a run knowing that she would quickly sleep, her body was exhausted, but she knew that Carina would not be happy with her if she did. She wanted to slip in hopes of forgetting about the appointment for a little while, but she knew that regressing would mean that she would experience her emotions more deeply and she was scared that she would be so overwhelmed by her feelings that she would need Carina's help, and the thought of having to wake up Carina in the middle of the night to look after her when she could have simply stayed in her big headspace would have brought her immense guilt.

The thought of the cloud crossed her mind she always found comfort in them in the past, but all of it changed when she met Carina she had found the reason to fight to stay, to love life, and the thought of death did not soothe her, did not bring her comfort anymore Carina did. She has become her safe place, her home. She looked at her side to be welcomed by the site of Carina sleeping, she stretched her hand and traced the brunette's face admiring the peaceful look she had, it was rare that she had this look, especially the past month and she blamed herself for it if she did not behave the way she did the brunette would not be so stressed "I am so sorry" she whispered, quickly retracting her hand when Carina moved slightly afraid that she will wake her up. She stood up covering Carina with the blanket and leaving a quick kiss on her forehead.

Walking into the kitchen and headed straight towards the fridge looking for something to snack on, but her eyes landed on the bottom drawer that had bags filled with Carina's breastmilk, her stomach twisted with guilt, Carina had sacrificed a lot and was doing all of that just for her to act like a fool and ruined all their progress, she reached for the jar of peanut butter and shut the door close. She plopped herself down on the couch, turned on the TV, and rested her feet on the coffee table, she took a quick glance at the clock, and a groan escaped her lips when she realized that she had 3 hours before having to go to the hospital, she shoved a spoonful of peanut butter into her mouth giving up on her hopes of falling asleep and only wishing she can distract her mind for the next 3 hours.

Time passed and the blonde's eyes were glued to the screen, glad that the annoying voice in her head had become a little bit quieter, until she was pulled out of her thoughts by the feeling of two arms sliding around her shoulders and wrapping her "What are you doing here?" Carina asked circling the couch and sitting next to Maya.