Stay with me?

Chapter 16:

Bada cried at the same time the waves hit the shore. She sobbed in a manner that breaks my heart each time.

"Can we talk now?" tanong nito. She's always been so respectful of my time. Lagi niyang tinatanong if okay lang ba gawin ang mga bagay na gusto niya with regard sa akin. She still couldn't face me kaya nanahimik lang ako. Silence means yes for our friendship.

"I'm sorry dahil halos patayin na kita sa sakit na naramdaman mo nung araw na 'yun." I knew what she was talking about. "Redlic took a toll on me. When I answered her call, she was crying and telling me na she's sorry about what happened to me and her. Kilala mo naman si Redlic at alam mo din na hindi siya nagssorry not unless she really means it." tahimik padin ako. Namumuo na ang mga luha sa mata 'ko.

"At that moment, akala 'ko siya padin laman ng puso 'ko. Trust me, I tried working it out with her pero ako na mismo ang umaayaw. Ako na mismo ang lumalayo. Masama man sa pandinig ng iba pero hinahanap kita sakanya." pinunasan niya ang mga luha niya.

"I meant it when I said I was in love with you for 15 years of my entire life. I fell in love the moment I saw you cheering for me sa gitna ng libo-libong studyante na nanunuod sa auditorium nung highschool tayo. From the on, I've always wished that you were mine. Oo, palagi kitang inaasar o kaya ginugulo, pero thats my way of showing how much I love you." pagpapatuloy nito.

"I fell deeper when you took care of me nung nagkaroon ako ng high fever kahit na sobrang pagod ka na sa mga subjects natin nung 1st year college palang tayo. You took care of me when no one else can, you showed me love when no one else did, you understood me even if I couldn't understand myself, you never judged me even if I'm worthy of being judged." she stared at the moon. I was absorbing everything she was saying and trying to hold my tears back.

"Mahirap man pakinggan pero sa lahat ng mga naging babae 'ko, hinahanap kita sakanila. I know I was stupid enough dahil sa ginawa 'ko pero ikaw padin talaga gusto ng puso 'ko. Redy was there and she was sweet ang clingy pero hindi 'ko ito ginusto. May mga naging ibang babae din akong nakalandian pero hindi nila nakukuha ang kiliti 'ko." pag-explain niya.

"I'm really sorry for bringing you so much pain that you had to leave everything behind and stopped talking to our friends. I'm sorry because I know you questioned your worth and your dignity because of me. Because of someone stupid, like me. I'm sorry for hurting you and for breaking you when in reality, thats the total opposite of what I wanted to do with you." she continued.

"You're my everything, Alex. You still are. Lahat ng mga damit na naiwanan mo dati sa apartment 'ko? nasa kwarto 'ko padin. I keep it in a special place at niyayakap 'ko ito kapag namimiss kita. Our pictures? All of them are displayed sa kwarto 'ko, ikaw din ang wallpaper 'ko mapa cellphone man o laptop o computer."

"I prayed for you and your success because you deserve all the good things the world can offer. Kahit man lang bumawi ako from afar, at hindi mo alam, at least nakabawi padin ako. Kaya nung nabalitaan 'kong nakapasa ka, daig 'ko pa magulang mo na umiyak."

"I'm still praying and wishing to all the Gods and angels and saints kung nageexist man sila na sana sumaya ka kahit hindi na ako parte ng kasiyahan na 'yun." I can hear her voice crack.

I finally gave in and put my head on her shoulder. Nagulat ito sa ginawa 'ko but still continued talking.

"You were the best thing that ever happened to me, Cass. You still are, actually. I hope you can find a place in your heart to forgive me." hinawakan niya ang kamay 'ko.

"Okay na, Bada. Masakit pa din, pero hindi na kasing sakit dati na palagi 'kong tinatanong kung ano bang meron si Redlic na wala ako. Natutunan 'kong mahalin at mabuhay nang hindi ka kasama kaya mas minahal 'ko ang sarili 'ko. I also wished and prayed to all the angels and saints na sana maging successful ka. Kahit wala ako sa tabi mo, I look at the sky and whisper to the heavens on how much I'm proud of you." tuluyan nang tumulo ang luha 'ko.