Blood and rose

Chapter 17: The truth

Matthews POV

Both Philip and I sat in the forest, on a log that would lay across the grass. He seemed quite serious at the moment, which made me a bit nervous to be honest. I had no idea what this could even be for, and based on how he was acting, I wasn't exactly excited to find out. He would take in a deep breath, as he leaned his elbows against his knees, staring at the floor with a look of dismay. I couldn't help myself and had to break the silence.

Matthew: "Did I do something friend? This is... begining to worry me."

Philips eyes would close, as if he wasn't prepared to say the words that lingered in his mind.

Philip: "Before I say anything... I would like you to know Matthew, that if I would have had the choice, I would have tried to find a better path... and I hope to be an ally of yours for many years to come... However... I simply couldn't live with myself if you didn't know the truth."

I would be lying if I were to say that I had no clue as to what he could be referring to, but I had hoped that this wasn't the case. I had hoped that he could be someone that I could trust. But I couldn't judge anything straight away, so I would listen.

Philip: "The day that Rose went missing was the day that I kidnapped her... I broke her legs and made her immobile... and I placed her in her cell... as I told you before, Veronica had me wrapped around her finger... I was her slave!"

His expression turned to anger.

Philip: "She took so many years of my life!... made me do things that I can never forget! Made me kill so many innocent people... so... I understand if you can never forgive me... if you want me dead... if you wish for my suffering... I'm sorry that I did this."

His gaze would turn to me, with guilt consuming him as he stared into me.

Philip: "Rose... she's a lovely woman... beautiful and kind... she's similar to tulip in many aspects...And because of me she was tormented. So... if you wish to kill me... then I allow as much."

I would stare back into his eyes. I was angry and frustrated... but I had come to the realization now, as to why Rose wouldn't tell me even the smallest bit of information. She simply wanted to protect a friend... from me. I would grit my teeth and turn away from him, doing what I could to think things through. Trying my best to control my erratic animalistic instincts and emotions. In the end, he was being used. In the end, he had no control. Control.

I would breath in, then out, and turn to face him once more.

Matthew: "Rose wouldn't want you dead... and... I know that I would regret killing you... having a lack of control is something I'm familiar with... so... I understand, Philip."

I would stand from the log and begin to walk away, but before leaving, I would say a few last word.

Matthew: "... As much I want to say that I forgive you... I simply am not in a state to do so... I..."

I would fist my hands, feeling that all to familiar boiling, burning anger in my chest. I wanted to strangle him to death. To rip out his flesh and watch as life escaped from him. I wanted more than anything to simply grab him, and at the very least, let him experience a fraction of the physical torment she went through. But I couldn't.... no... what was I thinking... this man was under her Control... he couldn't do anything to break free.

He was already imprisoned... my mind would suffer, battling on what exactly was the right thing to do... I would grind my teeth and hit the nearest thing I could with all my strength. A large tree would tumble to the ground, breaking into pieces as it hit the floor with abnormal speed. I would place my hands on my head and grunt. I wanted to kill him so badly, but I couldn't. I couldn't do that to Rose! She doesn't trust me as it is. I couldn't! I can't! What is wrong with me! Why can't I keep this part of myself contained!