Trigger Warning: ED!
She's scared of intimacy because if a lover were ever to see who she is beneath a personality and clothes, they would see it carved into her cracked skin. 'DON'T EAT' is a stain on innocent legs. They once were clean, sure, but as innocence went away those scars became prominent. She smears sweet blood across pale legs as she smiles, disorderly and insane.
Constant reminder whenever she looks, to never eat. She wasn't regretting the slices in skin the way she regretted slices of cake. It's not that she starves, but the slices of pain weren't in vain. Every time she ate, she contemplated the worst. Eating became an enemy even as she thought she'd never detest. Calories she counts aren't written in a book but they still swirl round like pests yet she is considerably normal.
'She's not dying, she's seeking attention. Let the girl cry, she'll snap out of this pretence. There are people with no meals and I'm sure she couldn't last a day without eating, I only see the girl stuffing her chubby face. She is a terrible liar, I must say. Anorexics don't eat anyway.'
So I need to be anorexic enough that in 6 days, I could get the tube like Eli? You need me to claim damage? You want me to be sickly? You want me to destroy my body in order to be cared towards? I'll destroy my body. I'll become yellow and pale, I'll spin in circles. I'll lie on the ground as you watch in terror, at a corpse you created. I may not be your anorexic stereotype, yet I'll become that girl.
I'll stop eating and you'll wish you cared more, enough to say 'you need to eat' or 'your body is perfect as it is' instead of letting me become rotten thinking it's okay to sit in silence as I share my pain. Or maybe you want to giggle, maybe you want to discredit my pain. Are you trying to be a bitch or are all people giggling at the anorexics? Even if you think you're sweet, you ignore a cry or spew bittersweet obscenities.
© Sincerely, ♡ - April 2023
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My Guts Create A Tapestry - Poetry
PoesíaThis poetry is strictly copyright, it's all written by me. These poems tend to be written sweetly so you could be reading the most gorey poem and it'd be like it's romantacised. I don't try to romantacise them, it's the way I write. You'll possibly...
