31. Charlie Brown

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I'm constantly lost in the thoughts, because what possibility is there? It sounds like a silent dream, to be able to go where nobody can see me. They can't speak to me because they don't know me, or my mind, and where I'll take it next. That thought is so pleasant, no responsibilities or pain. The world would be asleep and maybe I'd be able to listen into the thoughts of 16 years that weren't able to scream past all the stereotypical ideas in existence. I'd like to slip away, just gaze at a never-ending road when the sky starts to get dark and wonder if someone is watching me because it doesn't seem real that I can ever be so calm. The world isn't stirring the pot with a speed that would splash any societal sense onto me, I'm a good distance away. Nobody can know whether I'm dead without a society to dislike, without a reason to keep wanting a lick of the mixing spoon. I don't need to lick the bowl to be okay, I know that. They don't, but is it worth staying there and risking my sense of enjoyment any longer? Can I really be okay without running away and away, down that road eternally? Now I don't know whether I'm right but I guess we'll need to see, won't we?

© Sincerely, ♡ - April 2023

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