just for a moment | p. gasly

twenty-eight

XXVIII. Sobbing

MILAN: June 2023

The car ride from the airport to the apartment was silent. For the first time, the two best friends didn't know what to say to each other. It was as if all the words in the world were gone and not amount of combination of words were enough to make any words.

When they reached her apartment, he grabbed her suitcase as she waited for him. Walking to her door, the two stood there. Unmoving, in denial, sadness looming over their heads.

She looked at her feet, not knowing what to do, how to act. She knew it would be the last time until they see each other again, and she hated it.

He was a feet away from her home, a few feet from his couch, his sheets, his hoodies, him. How would it be easy for anyone to just let go of that?

He breathed in and out, slowly building up the courage. He reminded himself of his Monegasque best friend's words; "If not now, when? How many more years, months, days are you going to let it pass by?"

He knew his best friend was right, he had to say it now so he did.

"Okay." He spoke, she looked at him, hearing his voice was always warm but this time, it was nervous. "Don't hate me, I'm just gonna come out and say it." He said and took in a breath.

She stared at him, their eyes meeting like it always have been. "I want us to be more than friends."

There it was.

Out in the open. But as if the fight or flight button was clicked in her head, she spoke, "Pierre-"

"No. Listen, I was serious when I said I never lie to you. This? This isn't a lie, this isn't a joke-"

"I know." She said. He looked at her in shock, "You do?" he asked, his voice filled with hope and that broke her, especially when she decided on the combination of words her mind had made, "You'll snap out of it."

He frowned and his eyebrows furrowed, "Don't do that." He said, the hurt in his voice stabbing her heart, once.

"Don't discount my feelings." He continued as he shook his head. Second stab.

She sighed, "I'm already a hard friend material, let alone a more than friend material." She reasoned. But he shook his head, but before he got the chance to speak, she continued, "I'll ignore you, stomp on your heart, and always put my needs and interest first." She said.

"Like what you're doing now?" he asked with a deep frown on his face. Third stab.

She merely hummed and nodded, gripping her suitcase. He snickered and shook his head, "You can keep trying to push me away, it's not gonna work." He said, putting his feet down.

She frowned, "You're making a mistake..." she trailed but he walked to her, placing a hand on top of her, "Probably." He said, determination in his voice.

He can't let her, not like this.

"Pierre..." she whispered, tears forming in her eyes. He sighed, he wouldn't get an answer now, he knew that.

"Okay. I'll leave you alone for now." He whispered back. Pulling away from her, walking across the street where walked to his door, not turning back.

She waited, hoping he would look back like he always did. But he didn't.

She moved to unlock her door, hoping he would run to her and hug her from behind like he always he did. But he didn't.

She walked in her apartment and closed the door, hoping he would knock and make some random excuse that he forgot something. But he didn't.

She slid down the floor and let the tears fall, sobs coming out of her mouth. She knew rejecting him would change everything but she just couldn't get her stupid stubborn heart and mind to wrap around the idea that Pierre would like her.

How could he? She was just the annoying and stubborn best friend. She was just the hard-headed teammate. She was just Kiara.

Not knowing, he thought that she was Kiara. His passionate and strong-willed best friend. His Firey teammate. She was his Kiara. His Kiara.