END ROADS

CHAPTER 16: YOU WANT HIM CLOSE AND FAR AT THE SAME TIME

I pushed the rusty door open and found myself at the roof top. Vampires in charge of security were going to bed, the weather was cold. The wind was blowing and making leaves rustle. Thunder boomed and lightning cracked in the sky. It would rain this early morning. Vampires were nowhere to be seen, they all had rushed inside to hide from the rain. I missed nature, rain drops beading my skin and soothing my heart. I released the thick mass of hair from the ponytail confining it. The wind aired my hair leaving me relaxed. I closed my eyes and spread my hands. The wind caressed my skin softly, relaxation sneaked in. I was enjoying it all when my mind struck something painful. Since I ever came to this coven, all I have encountered is threats of being killed and being hurt.  What does soothing myself count? I dropped my hands opening my eyes. Yeah, what did soothing myself count? The rain began…slowly wetting my clothes, then a growl sounded. I turned around to find a female black panther standing there, a cub in its mouth.
“Lily? You finally found him after so long. Come on, go inside Reni has been waiting for so long. Don’t worry…I broke the spell, they are free!”
She looked at me for some time and dropped the cub who came to my side excited.
“You are so lovely” I squatted and took it in my arms, it wagged its tail and licked me all over my face “don’t get lost again, your mom worked so hard to find you. I will call you Ben. You like it?” he wagged his tail again. “Now go inside and meet you dad. I will join you later. I just want to enjoy the rain”…but you might never see me again! I smiled at him. He jumped out of my arms and rushed to his mother.
Lily, looked at me for some time and went away. I waited for some time, getting soaked-thunder rumbling loudly. I rose to my feet slowly, brushing the hair out of my face. This will be the end of my misery, I will walk out of it confidently and never be seen in it again. I walked towards the edge of the building, below was a convoy of black expensive cars parked there. I climbed on the edge and looked down below-where I was going. I closed my eyes inhaling deeply, and letting it out slowly. I moved my leg forward then someone called me.
“Becky, what do you think you are doing?”
Grey!
I turned around to find him a few inches away from me drenched as I was. I could his shiny green eyes in the dim light. I smirked.
“Am on my way to join my parents who you killed!” I called to him angrily “You killed them Grey, don’t blind me on that. You set the car on fire, mummy died in there. I was left alone, now am suffering in your hands you don’t even care how I feel at all” I wiped my face “You don’t care, just let me go!”
I turned around tears welling more and more, my heart ached not sure why. But it hurt so much.
“Sorry but you can’t do this. You shouldn’t do this”
“I have nothing to lose” I faced him “I have already lost everything. Am tired of this aimless and useless life. There must be space for me on the other side”
“Please Becky, stay back for me then. I can’t move on without you, you are already in my life and I need you there”
“No, you don’t need me there, you only think you need me there. Staying back for you…I will be misusing this life. It is better going down the nine or eight floors instead.” I shut down my mind “Am sorry” I closed my eyes and stepped back.
I was airborne going down with the rain stinging my face and arms. I was going flying down below, memories we had made with Grey blocking my destiny. Every nice moment we had from the very first day I met him were making me regret jumping off the building in the first place. Now the words were distinct in my mind like an advert on a bill board. I had fallen in love with Adrian Grey and he was the reason why all this didn’t make sense.
I was going crazy with the idea, he was a vampire and I was going all jelly because of him. He was my destiny, he was all I could mind living for. I opened my eyes only to come face to face with Grey he was holding me while we were still in air. His eyes were red, his face cold. I loved the way his hair hang over his forehead. He shot into air like a missile while I was still in his arms. He slowly landed on the rooftop and let me stand on my feet. He took a step away staring at me as if I was an enigma.
“Why did you say that? ‘Am sorry’ you know how many horrible memories those two words bring? You also want to leave with ‘am sorry’?” he sounded broken, but I held on to my pride keeping my cool.
“You want me to kneel and beg you not to leave? I will do it then!” slowly he let go of his weight and landed on his knees, head bowed “Please, please Becky…don’t leave me! Stay for me. Without you my life will lose focus and reason. Please…
“Stop it Grey…stop!” I was hurting him, why was I doing this to someone I loved so much? I took a doubted step forward, closed my eyes to keep out alternative thoughts and covered the distance between us. I went down on my knees and lifted his head.
“Am staying” he starred into my eyes with sad eyes, I could not control my tears “Am staying for you Grey!”
I wrapped my hands around his neck, his own were balled on his side. “Hold me if you love me Grey, you don’t have to say it. Keep it in you, but please hold me Grey” I whispered in his ears soothingly. Slowly his hands came around my wait then he pulled me close, his head was crouched on my shoulder. He was trembling with what I couldn’t define at all even if I tried to. We held for a while the rain pounding on till only a drizzle was left. I held him away searching his eyes, they were sad and were making me cry.
“Whatever the reason you want me here with you, am going to do it. Let it be the reason am still alive” I kissed the corner of his mouth and helped him stand. “Come on, let us go inside before the sun comes up” I grabbed his wrist and began moving, he didn’t shift an inch, he pulled me back, I ended up landing on his chest.
“Grey…”
“Never play that game you tried to play ever again. You are not allowed to die when am alive. I die first, then you follow”
I smiled at him idiotically “Humans don’t live forever like you guys do”
“It doesn’t matter, you are not allowed to die before me! You only die where I die.” with that, he had his hand behind my neck pulling me close and nestling his mouth on mine. My heart expanded with passion and ecstasy, I responded full will surrendering all I had to him. I flowed with, sunk with it and gave my mind and heart to it willingly. Am all yours Grey, have me as much as you want. Hold me while you can for I don’t know what is in place for me tomorrow. Am only clinging onto the edge, and this edge happens to be you. It is up to you, to hold me up, or shake me off. But for now, this very moment, this time that you can hold me like this…hold me tight, don’t let go till you  can hold no more.
He broke off and wiped the tear leaking from my eye, “Come on we should go inside now”
He grabbed my hand and moved in his super speed, in a few seconds we were in Dermot’s room. We took off our drenched clothes put on our night gears and went to bed. We lay there, everyone in deep thoughts facing away from each other. I tried to sleep but I could not make it, my mind kept shifting back to the many intimate moments Grey and I shared. It was disturbing and leaving me feeling sick inside and all heated on the outside. When I could not hold it anymore, I turned around to find Grey turning as well. I collided with his bare tout masculine chest.
“I can’t sleep” he whispered his eyes dark
“Neither…and we both know the reason why” I studied his dark gaze for a while “we want each other. Don’t we?” I asked like the greatest idiot in the world
“We do but I don’t think it is the right thing to do. You might free your soul to mine, then you will be stuck with me forever. Besides you are a virgin, I don’t have the honour to break it” he looked disturbed about every damn thing
“You don’t have to break it, we can just make out and be done away with this damn feelings. Come on Grey…”
“I got this” and just like that my night shirt was ripped off and I was all bare in front of him. He stared at me for a moment then took me under him. And that is how I ended up making out with a vampire for hours till sleep could no longer spare me.
It was time to get out of bed, I could see shadows crossing the room. Everyone was surely busy, preparing for the arrival of Keith. I didn’t bother finding Grey in the room, I was sure he wasn’t there and was probably guilty for what happened the previous night. I go out of bed wrapping the bed sheet around me, Ari entered the room without even knocking.
“Morning, Becky”
“That’s funny but morning anyways. Am sorry for yesterday, I stoop so low, it was stupid and pathetic”
“I came over it, I realized that wasn’t intentional. Situations push us to the wall, once Grey was also there” she was busy making the bed.
“I can’t imagine Grey in this awful state” I sighed sinking onto the coach
“Don’t tell me you slept naked and Grey has left just this morning” she was holding my night shirt.
“Things went all wrong, what happened shouldn’t have happened. It was all wrong and stupid, we shouldn’t talk about it” I didn’t want to talk about it.
“He slept with you, don’t tell me that”
“No, no nothing like that happened. We just made out for hours okay, let no one know this. We were just caught up in the moment. He doesn’t like me and am sure he regrets everything”
“Do you regret?” did I?
“To be sincere, I don’t, coz I did it in free will. Now can we talk about something else?”
“Yeah, go shower am here to prepare you as Grey asked. I will go and get your breakfast” she went out and I just followed instructions for once.
When Ari got back, she found me drying my hair in front of the mirror. I offered her a small smile as she walked to my side.
“Have some breakfast; chocolate peppermint slice and coffee” she smiled “They are mouth-watering. You will love them”
“Thank you, what is happening out there?” I asked digging into my breakfast.
“The finishing of preparing the ball room” she answered while busy combing my hair.
“Ball room? There is a ballroom in this coven?”
“Sure, the second floor. You have never been there am sure, this coven is so big”
“Yeah, I certainly agree to that”
“So… Keith is more of traditional, he loves things in the ancient ways. Everyone will be in a gown and the males in suits. Things ought to be done his way, otherwise things will be so bad” she was done blow drying my hair then she began styling it.
“So there are other humans in here?” I asked to pass time
“Lots of them, but they barely interact with vampires, they are dangerous. I interact with them because I am claimed”
“What the hell is that?” I was in total darkness
“I think you missed that literature. Well it is more of getting slightly intimate with a vampire that is to claim you. He bites you and you free your soul to his. He becomes your leader and you become his servant forever. No vampire will dare attack you when you are claimed, he or she will be punished harshly because you are not a stray human” she pinned my hair and said “Grey claimed me, and so am bound to serve him forever. Where he dies, I will also die”
…you are not allowed to die before me…you only die where I die
Grey’s words rang in my head like a bell making me frown in confusion and worry. What had he meant? Had he secretly claimed me? No way in hell, I was always under attack.
“You okay?” Ari looked down at me surprised with the sudden change of facial expression. I nodded and she shrugged in return