END ROADS

CHAPTER 63: MEMORIES

"Are you alright?" I removed my hands from my eyes when I heard Alan ask the girl.
Wait.... Abigail?!
My hands flew to my mouth this time. She was beet red obviously embarrassed from the sudden and accidental kiss .
"Abi, are you ok?" I asked her  she stuttered for a moment before she gave up on talking and just nodded.
"My name is Alan Rawlins and you?" He extended his hand towards Abi who was in daze.
She swallowed  "I ... I .... My name is Abigail Brookes" she took his hand and their eyes met then Abi suddenly pulled her hand from his grip.
"Am sorry, I mean thank you...but... But I need to... I .... I excuse me"
She rushed off, Alan stood there his eyes on her disappearing figure a sexy smirk dancing on his lips.
"Come with me " I grabbed his wrist and dragged him out.
"What was that?"
"She's pretty?"
"What?! Wow that was quick!"
"She has a good figure too, and she is quite shy" he said his eyes distant.
I snapped him out of his daze by smacking his shoulders.
"Mr Rawlins?"
"Yeah?"
"She's your mate, right?"
His face darkened for a second then he sighed heavily and shrugged.
"Come here" I led him over to the bench on the other side of the corridor and we sat down together.
"She's your mate, isn't she?"
"She is... But...
"But?"
"She doesn't want me!"
"How do you know?"
"She's hiding it, that side of her that should be an open book to me is hidden. Her spirit is tethered "
I watched his helpless face, he was sad and depressed. I could feel it through the bond.
"Abi is my best friend, she told me... She is afraid of having a mate. That she doesn't want to feel the pain of loss. She is afraid of falling in love that is why she distracts herself from thinking about it. She... She keeps away so her mate wouldn't detect her."
"It is not fare, so should I be lonely because she fears losing me?"
"I know it is not fair " I said silently trying to come up with some kind of solutions.
We sat in silence, the emotions within Alan intensifying to the point of making me feel restless. So this is how Grey feels? Now for the first time I have to work for the sake of the people, the people who call me master.
I sat back then I got an idea.
"I have an idea Alan" I relaxed tracking Abigail's scent. I caught it, towards the forest to the south a kilometre away.
"Take my hand" he looked confused when my eyes suddenly turned blue.
"I won't bite" he took my hand carefully and we took off. In a split of a second we were a metre away from Abi, she was sitting on a log her eyes distant.
"What? You can teleport?"
"Yeah" I nodded my eyes fixed on Abi.
"How? What are you?"
"I don't know either, stay here until I call you over"
I walked over to Abi and sat beside her.
"What are you doing here?"
"Keeping my best friend company after she had to face her greatest fear"
"What are you talking about?"
"He's your mate, isn't he?" I asked and she went silent
"I know, he is your mate and you are not ready to accept it, right? Do this Abi, accept it you will regret it if you don't "
"But Becky...
"Listen to me Abi, I have had a bad life since I was a kid. I didn't see any love between my parents, I wished they loved each other. I grew up wanting to fall in love someday Really fall in love as if there is no tomorrow. And you know what? I did fall in love, do you want to know the silly thing? I fell in love when I knew I was gonna die the next minute" she looked at me then her gaze fell.
"I fell in love with the person who abducted me, tortured me and wanted to kill me. You want to know when I fell for him?" I laughed falling into the memory.
"I fell in love with his voice first, then his eyes, they are beautiful. I was aware I won't be with him for long, he wasn't mine. He'll finally find his mate and I will be alone at the end. Finally, I said to myself... Love will always find it's way. I gave myself out to love whether I was going to loose at the end of not. You're lucky, you are a vampire. You can live long with the love of your life and there is a bond joining you together for life. Nevertheless, we don't know when we are going to die, the world is unpredictable you never know when death comes knocking on the door. If you kicked your love out of the window, you will regret it. You will regret why you didn't even hug him or kiss him or just spend time with him and it will be a painful death full of regrets. Just let someone love you, it is better to be loved for a second than not to be loved at all"
I turned to look at her glassy eyes.
"Am scared " she declared
"I was, I am till now. Only his affection gives me strength and you need that strength too just accept to be in love. He is not a fool to let himself die and leave you alone. He knows the pain too and he must be afraid of losing you too and he will keep the two of you safe"
She said nothing for one good minute then she finally sighed and turned to face me.
"You are so brave, Becky. I envy you "
"Don't just envy me, compete with me " I challenged her. She smiled draping her hand over my shoulder.
"So what should I do now?"
I was about to answer when Alan's voice came from behind.
"Walk into my arms like a good girl" we all stood up turning to face him. He had that warm smile on his face, Abi was playing all shy now. I leaned close to her
"Be a good girl"
I walked past Alan.
"Come back with good news, I had to reveal all my secrets to get your woman in place"
I left the place and went back to the coven. The room was silent filled with Grey's scent mingled with mine. My mind went off for a moment and I lost the grip on my power. Small blue flames danced at the tip of my fingers, my shoulder itched irritatingly. I collapsed onto the sofa squeezing my eyes shut. I knocked a bunch of portraits off the table, they fell in a loud crush. The door burst open and someone came in. I could even see clearly, I latched at the person gripping the collars of the shirt.
"Take me... To him right now...
"He...
"I just said take me to him right now!" I yelled trembling with rage. I was loosing control and the cause of it, I didn't know.
"Please just... Just take me to him... please, please... will you...
I was gripped tightly, my head pressed down on a shoulder. The grip around my waist was as strong as still and the manly scent filled my nostrils. I whimpered, the power in me slowly dying away and things became clearer again. He let me go and I sat back on the sofa.
"Sorry " I whispered
"What was that for?"
"I don't know, something is definitely wrong with me "
Ethan sat beside me his eye brows knitted together.
He picked the portraits off the floor, first the painting of Regina and I, then the one Grey made of he and I with his mark on my shoulder. And lastly was a painting of I in his arms.
"He didn't mention it, he definitely has his reasons"
He mumbled placing the portraits on the table and covering them.
"Why are you here?"
"We are leaving in two hours"
"Why?"
"David is unpredictable, we have to go strengthen security on our side. Besides a small group is easier to protect than a large one"
"Alright" I answered
"Try to pull yourself together, it will be over soon"
"Do you know what is wrong with me?" I tried to read his face but it was stoic
"I don't, just pull yourself together. You are my favourite person you know"
I grinned.
"If you can't stay here, come to my room for the meantime"
"I should, it's empty and lonely here anyway. C'mon let's go" I led the way out to his room.
He followed closely behind, probably unable to ask what was bothering me. I didn't know either, I was in the dark.
It reminded me of those times, when I was merely human with an abusive dad. Those days I sat in the basement, hugging my knees watching his shadow looming behind the door. A long dark shadow that sent chills down my spine. Every moment I thought of him I saw darkness, I felt pain all over the scars always started itching. It was a small hell that kept me hidden from the world and I didn't bother to walk out of it.
Was it fear? Was it stupidity? Or my destiny was written so? Who was the writer?
Now I understood, he was a vampire hunter after all, I was never human to start with. So he always got pissed at me for making friends, he was mad when mom talked to the woman next door. He hates vampires, he hunted them. He was planning to launch a larger plan, to destroy all the vampires and so, he tricked Grey, he kidnapped me. Then he continued cooking his plans, so he would come to kill them in the name of saving his daughter. Wow, am actually impressed he really knows how to Manoeuvre. What an impressive man he turned out to be....
Oh...and when....
"You'll forget, do you hear me? You will say none of this to anyone!"
"...pa...he's not breathing...he is not breathing....why do you have blood all over? Did you do it?"
He trembled smacking my face with the back of his hand. I fell down trying to retreat and get away from him.
"You will listen to me! And shut that little mouth of yours!"
Tears spilled from my eyes watching the man I thought to be my dad tremble in rage and anger that was all directed towards me.
"Did you hear me? You keep your mouth shut" he stepped closer grabbing my neck "but you can't, you will obviously tell your pathetic human mother. Let me make it easier for you"
He squeezed, I struggled kicking and choking as I called onto him to let me go. He didn't budge, his eyes blazed a red-orange colour a single chisel sharp Fang extending from the left side of his upper jaw. I continued to struggle and kick but he didn't budge I was going limb my strength was failing me terribly and my throat burnt as if I had drunk acid. The light was fading and darkness was rushing to embrace me. I gave up, I stopped struggling, awaiting death! Proudly waiting for me at the door.But then I saw the light too bright and blinding. A large shadow covers the moon above. A heavy force suddenly befell the field throwing my dad off and I to the other side banging my head against the wall.
A figure of a beautiful woman formed in the sky she was in a red dress and hoodie. Her face was masked I couldn't see who it was. She approached me and squatted before me. She smiled sadly and wiped my tears.
"Everyone finally dies, but not when you are eight years. That is a little bit unfair don't you think so little one?" She stood up walked over to the yard and picked my shoe. She helped me out it back on.
"Keep your pretty little feet safe too" she smiled again "forget today, I save you today but it comes with a price. I won't tell you what the price is, you will know. But for now just forget"
She placed her hand on my back her eyes blazing golden. A strong magnetic like energy built between her hand and my shoulder. Then she was thrown into air and vanished. I blinked twice and shuddered when my father crawled to his feet and approached me. I smiled at him and rushed to embrace him.
"Dad, where have you been? C'mon let us go inside" he was confused but followed me inside.
.....
I opened my sour eyes and looked around. Ethan was sitting beside me, to the other side was Abigail and on the next seat was Alan. We were in a plane. What was happening? How, why was I here? What happened?
"Ethan....
"You are awake? You are crazy enough to fall asleep in the middle of the hallway. And you have added weight "
"Oh... Was all I could say before the memory hit me like a flash flood. My hands trembled, I balled my fist trying to keep my anger at check. He wanted to kill me, my own father wanted me dead because I saw him kill a vampire. Was it my fault that I was there at that time? Was it?
How dare he do this to me? Was I his pawns? Even if he didn't love me why did I have to be miserable, why?
The plane was suddenly on fire and I was too enraged to think of see. I want to kill him, I want to kill him! He is the one who should die.
"He should die!"
My eyes blazed blue fire dancing at the tips of my fingers. Everything disappeared, the seat belt scattering onto the floor as I suddenly shot off my seat. I could not see, I could not think I just wanted to destroy everything and anything. I wanted to face that beast of a man, why did he sire me if he hated me? Why did he make my mother's life so miserable? Why did I have to live in fear? Why?
Was he better than I ? Or was I worse than him? Or were we the same?
"Calm down , calm down please"
"Let go!" I yelled stumbling around like a drunkard
"Please calm down, Becky. Pull yourself together!"
"I have nothing to pull together, it is all shattered, it is broken. I don't want to fix I just want to kill him. Bring him here! That bastard, that idiot who wanted to kill me. Bring him here! Let him kill me right now!"
Someone threw her poor self into my arms holding me tightly.
"Pull yourself together, it is ok!"
"Let go, I said let go! I want to kill him, he must die " I yelled scratching and kicking but she was strong I could not break free and I was drained of energy.
"Let go!" I yelled again "I want to kill him " I choked between tears the power that was burning within me a few seconds ago melting into nothing. I withered in her arms, a crying mess and collapsed onto my knees. She followed suit holding me together, but I was shattered, I couldn't be fixed. He tormented me, he tortured me, he wanted to kill me. My own father wanted me dead, he wanted to kill me, he set me as a trap for Grey knowing so well that I could have died, he knew I could be drained and die. He hit mom, he always locked me in the basement. Why me? Why must I be in pain because of that man? Why?
Was I the villain?
Was I the protagonist?
Or I was the one who has to die to finally get an answer at the end?